Chapter 178
President Zhang might be broke, but his ambition wasn’t. After drafting a “King of Craziness in Showbiz” plan for Xie Mi, he immediately set it in motion.
The next morning, Xie Mi sat in the company-arranged “celebrity business van,” ready to begin a full day’s schedule.
“You call this a celebrity van?”
Watching an old granny pedal leisurely past them on a bicycle, Xie Mi couldn’t help but ask.
President Zhang gave an awkward laugh. “The speed might be a little slow, but the stability is pretty good.”
As soon as he finished speaking, the car broke down in the middle of the road.
“…”
The silence inside the car was deafening.
“Where did you say you bought this again?”
“…The fifth-hand market.”
“Beautiful.”
This car probably never imagined it would live to see its sixth owner.
—
Ten minutes later, the little junk heap was towed away. Xie Mi and President Zhang stood miserably on the roadside.
No accident—today’s trending topic would surely be #XieMiFleeingFamineAgain.
But it wasn’t a big problem.
“Good thing I kept a backup plan.”
Xie Mi smiled mysteriously, took out her phone, reported an address, and ten minutes later, a Maybach pulled up.
President Zhang’s jaw nearly hit the ground. “Teacher Xie, you’re actually rich?!”
“Just a casual freebie.”
She lifted a business card that read [Exclusive Driver of the Lai Family].
Didn’t that little gift she drew on the show come in handy now?
President Zhang was so moved he nearly cried.
“Teacher Xie, you—are my god!!”
—
Once inside, Xie Mi’s publicity tour officially began.
President Zhang scrolled through the itinerary on his tablet and adjusted his glasses.
“As of now, thirty-two brands have expressed cooperation interest—housewear, sunscreen, face masks, milk, outdoor gear, e-bikes, and so on.”
Remembering President Zhang’s manic state in yesterday’s video meeting, Xie Mi had a bad feeling.
“So the product you finally chose is…?”
—
“Liushen No-Master Essential Balm! A warm welcome to Teacher Xie!!”
In front of the balm factory, hundreds of employees waved banners passionately, their chants shaking the sky.
Xie Mi: “6.”
The CEO personally came to greet her. “Teacher Xie, ever since you used balm as perfume on the show, sales have skyrocketed! You opened a new world for us!”
“Indeed, why can’t balm be made into perfume? So we worked day and night, and finally created this—Liushen No-Master Balm Perfume!”
“And we hope that its originator, you, Teacher Xie, will become its first spokesperson!”
“Ah, no.”
Xie Mi scratched her head sincerely. “I just didn’t want mosquito bites.”
The CEO: “…”
A few seconds of silence—then renewed fire.
“Then let us join forces to wipe out all the mosquitoes in the world!!”
Xie Mi was fired up. “That I must support!!”
—
The ad set was already prepared. While getting her makeup done, she studied the script.
Since she knew nothing about acting, she asked the ad director for advice.
“Anything I should pay attention to?”
The director thought of her variety show performance and said seriously:
“Tone it down a little.”
—
That same day, a new hot search appeared on Weibo:
#XieMiCommercialShootLeaked#
The tag opened to a video shot outdoors.
In it, Xie Mi wore a full mosquito cosplay outfit, transformed into a giant mosquito. With the long plastic stick strapped to her face, she jabbed around wildly to Kittyc sucking blood.
The extras playing humans ran for their lives— even stray dogs weren’t spared.
Then the mosquito suddenly broke into power slides, somersaults, and Shaolin punches. The extras all pulled out balm bottles, splashing her like exorcists.
The mosquito collapsed, twitching, then went still.
After a few silent seconds, Xie Mi suddenly crawled out of the costume, raised her hands, and shouted excitedly:
“I’m free!!”
The final shot was of the director staring at the monitor in shock. “This… this is a true veteran actor!”
Netizen comments:
[WaterGunWithPee]: How did the brand even agree to hire Teacher Xie?
[EnergeticGirlLinPinru]: Mosquito: Am I really this crazy?
[ChangeStomachThinkRoast]: Don’t get it. Whatever!
[BalalaNotBright]: Don’t worry, as long as Teacher Xie’s around, AI will never replace humans [heart].
[Bossy]: While all the starlets are filming fashion shoots, only my Teacher Xie remains proudly absurd. Relieved.
[SweetBigMonkey]: I’m laughing my ass off.
The leaked footage spread fast. Netizens begged the brand to release the finished commercial.
The balm company successfully went viral, with massive buzz.
Other niche brands smelled opportunity and started tagging Xie Mi on Weibo:
[LeiBi Soda]: Summer’s coming, Teacher Xie need a chilled drink?
[Farmer Bandit Spring Water]: Soda isn’t healthy. Drink water for better skin! Teacher Xie, look at me!
[KangShuaiFu Instant Noodles]: Heard Teacher Xie likes PE boys? I took two PE classes. Hm? Talk to me.
[BlueMoonShell Laundry Liquid]: I can’t take it anymore, just waiting for Teacher Xie’s notice drives me nuts.
[PiaoYi Shampoo]: If I knew they’d come, I wouldn’t have.
While brands joked and Weibo boiled over, Xie Mi began her second job of the day— a movie cameo.
According to President Zhang, it was a suspense film set in a psychiatric hospital. Her role: a patient who accidentally gives the protagonist a crucial clue.
The script she got was extremely simple:
[Patient A: (Lying quietly in bed, suddenly has an episode when seeing the protagonist, and accidentally slaps them across the face.)]
Yes, the crucial clue was slapping the lead.
The genius protagonist, stuck in deduction, gets slapped by a patient and suddenly has a breakthrough.
Absurd plot.
She loved it.
When she arrived, the director and producer personally welcomed her—no doubt because they’d seen the trending hot search, and valued her heat.
“An honor to work with you, Teacher Xie! Just improvise later, don’t let the script hold you back!”
Xie Mi was about to say a serious movie wasn’t really suitable for improvising— but then out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a familiar figure.
Her words did a 180.
“Improvise? Then you’ve found the right person!”
