Chapter 135
A chill shot up Yan Lei’s spine, and he felt fear.
Of course, he was not afraid of Qiao Wei before him.
He was afraid… it felt as if he were about to lose her.
He bent down, scooped her up by the backs of her knees, and lifted her: “You’re muddled! Go to sleep!”
He carried her upstairs.
Qiao Wei gazed at his profile while in his warm, familiar embrace.
“I had a high fever for a day and a night, with no one to look after me.”
“I arrived in time to take you to the hospital.”
“An average person wouldn’t have been able to hold on that long; they would have suffered from heat-induced dehydration.”
“I brought you back safe and sound.”
“…You don’t want to hear it?”
“I don’t.”
Qiao Wei pressed her face against his shoulder: “Alright then.”
No one is stupid, are they?
It has always been a matter of willingness.
Yan Lei carried her back to the bedroom upstairs, tucked her into the quilt, and held her tightly, as if afraid she might suddenly fly away.
“Don’t you ever think, without you, what would happen to Xiangxiang? What would happen to me?” he said in a low voice, sounding almost resentful.
Yet Qiao Wei said: “You would live just as well as you do now.”
She looked at the ceiling in the darkness. This house was different from the small courtyard they had before; it had a ceiling.
“You and I are the same kind of people,” she said with certainty. “Even if we hadn’t met each other, we would definitely still strive to live well.”
“We would never waste our own lives.”
“That’s different,” Yan Lei held her tighter. “Even if life is good, without you, it’s not the same.”
“It wouldn’t work.”
“Qiao Wei, neither Xiangxiang nor I can be without you.”
He held her too tightly, making it hard for her to breathe.
Qiao Wei pushed him slightly, turned over to face him, nose to nose.
She gazed at him.
Yan Lei tried to kiss her, as clumsily as when he had first brought her back from the provincial capital.
But he was filled with devotion, as if telling her—
Others won’t do; it must be you.
It wouldn’t work.
It has to be you.
Qiao Wei felt herself gradually softening.
Yan Lei’s gentleness and purity enveloped her.
She gently brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek, responding to his kiss.
Love was like a tide, gently lifting one up, relaxing every limb and bone.
You are not alone; no matter when, there is this person with you.
…
With Huang Zengyue’s downfall and Meng Zuoyi’s rise, the spring of this year in Bo City was destined to be turbulent.
Everything was in flux, dizzying and chaotic.
Everyone said that Meng Zuoyi was still the same Meng Zuoyi as before; the five years of hardship had only made him more resolute. His experience of being persecuted had even become an asset on his resume, making him as stable as a rock.
Personnel changes were intense and frequent.
In the third lunar month, Library Director Qiao Wei received a transfer notice; she had been promoted and reassigned as the Deputy Director of the Bocheng County Revolutionary Committee.
Qiao Wei showed the transfer notice to Yan Lei.
Yan Lei advised her: “Keep a calm mind.”
“The matters between those two are their own business.”
“Think about it, when Old Meng was being persecuted, we were still associating with Zengyue.”
Not just associating, but collaborating.
In fact, even back then, Yan Lei thought Huang Zengyue was naive.
He actually kept Meng Zuoyi alive.
When dealing with Guan Tuwei, he had made a request, and Huang Zengyue had hesitated for a moment before agreeing.
After all, these intellectuals and writers liked to play at conspiracies and politics, but they were still afraid of things that involved getting blood on their hands.
But for Yan Lei, Qiao Wei stood between him and Huang Zengyue; his relationship with him was purely a business collaboration, not based on any affection, so he had no obligation to warn him.
Moreover, Qiao Wei, who had feelings for Huang Zengyue, also had feelings for Meng Zuoyi.
Whether Huang Zengyue or Meng Zuoyi rose or fell, lived or died, Qiao Wei actually suffered no loss.
So he kept his silence.
In fact, from the day he learned of Meng Zuoyi’s rehabilitation, he knew Huang Zengyue was in trouble.
From the day Meng Zuoyi insisted on returning to Bocheng County, he had already foreseen Huang Zengyue’s end.
Everything was indeed as expected.
Playing politics allows for not a shred of naivety.
Qiao Wei was actually naive too.
In the eyes of others, she was indeed mature, sophisticated, and slick, but only Yan Lei knew that sometimes, a kind of incredible naivety shone through her very bones.
A naivety far greater than Huang Zengyue’s.
Over the years, Yan Lei had been observing, and he discovered that apart from Guan Tuwei, she held no intense hatred for anyone.
Her capacity for tolerance was extremely strong; for all people, even those she did not like, she carried a kind of compassionate forbearance.
This was extremely contradictory to her quick reactions and slick responses.
Like a puzzle.
But these kinds of contradictions in her deeply fascinated Yan Lei.
He comforted her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head.
“I know,” Qiao Wei let out a long breath. “I know.”
That was good; she had moved past that emotional state and recovered her composure.
Yan Lei loved it most when her eyes were bright and her gaze firm.
Qiao Wei went to the Revolutionary Committee compound to meet Meng Zuoyi.
In that familiar office, Meng Zuoyi hurriedly pulled on his shoes and specifically went to open the window: “Let the smell air out.”
Qiao Wei covered her forehead: “You still remember!”
Meng Zuoyi laughed: “How could I forget that.”
Meng Zuoyi felt he would never forget the image of that young woman from that year, standing firm against Guan Tuwei and refusing to kick him while he was down.
She was so young, yet had so much courage.
When everyone was drawing a clear line between themselves and him, only she dared to visit him openly, fearing that those people would kill him.
She had always had courage.
The atmosphere relaxed.
“I actually wanted you to be my First Deputy Director,” he said, “but I know you certainly wouldn’t want that.”
Qiao Wei nodded: “You should understand me.”
At this time, people were divided into many factions. Everyone had different political leanings, and thus made different choices.
It was very clear that Qiao Wei had chosen to avoid this grand, sweeping movement.
If she really had ambition and wanted to stir up the winds and clouds, with her brains and skills, and the Military District behind her, Huang Zengyue might not have been able to dominate alone.
Or taking a step back, if she didn’t have such great ambition, but really wanted to be the First Deputy Director of Bocheng County, she could have been one during Huang Zengyue’s era.
She was not only a capable assistant, but everyone knew she would never backstab anyone; she was someone who could be completely trusted.
Everyone wanted to have a partner like her.
Huang Zengyue would surely have been happy to bind her to himself and gain such an asset.
But she did not seize power; she hid away in the Library, happy every day.
For her type, there was a common term at the time: the “Carefree Faction.”
Of course, at the time, no one from the Carefree Faction would admit to being part of the Carefree Faction.
But as long as you saw her drifting outside of all the named revolutionary organizations and groups, you knew she was a member of the Carefree Faction.
Qiao Wei was a typical member of the Carefree Faction.
When Meng Zuoyi was in the backyard of the Health Bureau, he often looked forward to her coming. Not only because she would bring food and medicine, but also because she was a rare ray of sunshine in the dark years.
Only when he saw Qiao Wei could he remember that this was how a normal person should live.
Meng Zuoyi nodded: “I know you. That’s why I only gave you the title of Deputy Director. Anyway, stop just whiling away your time at the Library; come over early to build up your seniority.”
The Chinese officialdom has always emphasized seniority and rank since ancient times.
But that was for a normal career path and officialdom.
Qiao Wei stared at him: “Director, do you have some news?”
Meng Zuoyi tapped his fingers on the desk: “A movement—what is a movement? Since it is a movement, it has a beginning and an end. Even if it is currently raging like a fire, sooner or later, it will end.”
That was why he transferred Qiao Wei back to the government.
She didn’t want to participate, that was fine; she could just bide her time and build her resume here. That way, when this movement ended and everything returned to normal, she would have the seniority to pursue an official career.
Meng Zuoyi treated Qiao Wei quite well.
He actually really hoped Qiao Wei could come to head his propaganda department, but she didn’t want to stay in such a volatile place, and he wouldn’t force her.
He let her hold a nominal position in the government.
Qiao Wei didn’t waste this meeting either; she secured the position of Library Director for Librarian Zheng Ai.
The Library was Yan Xiang’s little world, and Qiao Wei somewhat viewed it as her own private garden; she was very reluctant to let others get their hands on it.
Meng Zuoyi actually knew of Librarian Zheng Ai.
Qiao Wei was surprised.
“Old Xiao keeps nattering about him,” he said. “There are only a few people in their Library, and he talks about him every day.”
He suddenly said: “Weiwei, you know, right? Old Xiao was put there by me; he couldn’t have reached that position on his own.”
The air turned desolate for a moment.
Back then, speaking of it would only have made things gloomier, so they understood each other implicitly—one didn’t ask, and the other didn’t say.
Now that it was over, he could speak of it.
Having told Qiao Wei, Meng Zuoyi also felt a sense of relief.
Some things had to be said by someone. And not everyone was worthy of hearing him say them.
It could only be specific people.
He had been a soldier, with a strong body and the most strength.
In those years, people who couldn’t hold on would all find him for help.
He said: “I am very good at hanging people.”
Qiao Wei thought of that tree on the small path.
Was it by his own hand?
Probably not.
Who knows.
Perhaps he just gave the order.
Meng Zuoyi seemed to know what she was thinking; he just smiled.
Neither of them mentioned that person’s name.
It was over; those whose physical bodies had perished would eventually perish in people’s memories as well.
Not even ashes would be left.
But Qiao Wei suddenly clutched her chest and retched.
Perhaps it was because of the unpleasant realization in her mind, or perhaps it was because the smell of foot odor and cigarette smoke in the room was mixed together and couldn’t dissipate.
But the timing was terrible; why at this moment, right when they were talking about this? Once the nausea finally passed, Qiao Wei tried to explain to Meng Zuoyi, but as soon as she opened her mouth, another bout of retching came.
“Oh my.” Meng Zuoyi stood up and fanned her with his hand across the table: “Are you alright?”
“It’s just…” Qiao Wei tried to explain, “I haven’t smelled cigarette smoke in the Library for a long time…”
The Library was a key fire prevention unit, with a total ban on smoking. It made sense.
But Meng Zuoyi stood with his hands on his hips, eyeing her, feeling a bit strange.
“Weiwei, you…” he asked, “are you pregnant?”
Qiao Wei blinked.
What was wrong with her? Meng Zuoyi found it funny: “I remember your child is already eight or nine? Ten years old? How can you still be so slow to realize?”
She was clearly someone who had already given birth to a child, so why was she acting as silly as a young girl who hadn’t?
Even a big man like him could see she was pregnant, yet she hadn’t realized it herself.
Qiao Wei froze.
She and Yan Lei clearly used protection every time… ah no, there was one time, one time they didn’t.
Qiao Wei remembered.
It was that night when she was emotionally unstable because of Huang Zengyue’s death and wanted to tell him everything.
Yan Lei wouldn’t let her say it.
That night, he comforted her with extra tenderness, and she was emotionally volatile and dazed. Neither of them remembered to use safety measures.
Just that one time, and she was caught.
One really cannot be careless or rely on luck with these kinds of things.
Meng Zuoyi was amused to laughter by her dazed expression; he pointed at her, laughing until he shook his head.
“Take advantage of your youth and have a few more,” he said. “There is strength in numbers, and more people means more production. This is making a contribution to the country.”
Qiao Wei went back to the Library and gave instructions to Librarian Zheng Ai.
Everyone was reluctant to see Qiao Wei go, but also happy that the next director was Librarian Zheng Ai; it was truly a mix of sorrow and joy.
Qiao Wei planned to wait for Yan Xiang to finish school and go home with him.
Now that Yan Xiang was ten, he didn’t need Qiao Wei to take him to and from school anymore.
Who knew, before noon, even before Yan Xiang had returned, Division Commander Yan arrived.
Qiao Wei covered her forehead.
“Director Meng called me,” Yan Lei said cautiously in her office. “How are you now? Are you feeling uncomfortable?”
Qiao Wei said impatiently: “Thanks to you, I’m doing just fine.”
Yan Lei hurriedly said: “It’s all my fault, all my fault.”
But his joy could not be hidden.
He was so overjoyed by the arrival of this new life.
This was his and Qiao Wei’s child.
