Chapter 9
Director Niu: “NOOOOO!!!!”
Director Niu and the entire crew howled like ghosts and wolves.
The next second, the livestream was banned.
A livestream with a nine-digit viewer count—just cut, just like that.
The very last frame before the screen went black was Xie Mi saying, “Right, he did end up in jail. But before going to jail, he first went to the proctology department. And honestly, he screamed pretty miserably—just like Director Niu is screaming now.”
Holy shit, it was explosive!!
The program team rushed to post on Weibo to reassure viewers, saying the ban was only five minutes and the stream would resume afterward.
But in those five minutes, Weibo was already in upheaval.
[Dumb Beauty Here]: Fun fact: don’t stab Xie Mi, because she really will stab your chrysanthemum.
[Sad GG Burst]: Is that dude still alive?
[AAA Grade-10 Welder]: Am I the only one who found that satisfying? Extreme psycho-fans deserve this kind of treatment!
[Little Cherry Loser]: She’s un-blackenable. If you slander other stars, they might fall into depression or even jump off buildings. You slander Sis Xie, she just sends you to proctology.
[You Look Like Sis’s Husband]: Sis Xie is awesome! Give our tiny entertainment circle a real shock!
[Evil Charmer Hala Shao]: WTF Xie Mi has fans now?! Fine, cards on the table—I’m one too. Sis Xie rules!!
[Holy Sh*t]: The internet really has gone insane.
The livestream quickly resumed. Viewer count didn’t drop—it surged higher, with heat levels off the charts.
Director Niu didn’t dare bring up the previous topic again. He hastily declared the game over. Losers Qiu Chengye and Liu Woxing were assigned to prepare dinner, while the others were free to move about in the villa.
So Qiu Chengye and Liu Woxing went out shopping.
Since the rooms hadn’t been assigned yet, the rest had to stick around the common areas for now.
Xie Mi gazed up at the sky, pondering life.
Why didn’t You Hongxuan come on the romance show? And who even was Shen Yanqing?
Could her arrival have caused a butterfly effect, changing the plot?
…Well, whatever.
She’d just keep being insane, and let fate handle the rest.
“Teacher Xie! Teacher Xie!!” someone shouted hoarsely from below.
Xie Mi poked her head out from the roof. “Looking for me?”
“Holy sh*t!”
The assistant director clutched his chest in fright. When he realized where she was, he nearly fainted. “Teacher Xie, when did you climb up to the roof?!”
No wonder no one could find her anywhere inside. Was she born in the year of the monkey?!
Xie Mi had a stalk of foxtail grass in her mouth, claiming elegantly, “Moon-gazing.”
The AD glanced up at the blue sky and white clouds.
Moon-gazing, my ass.
The crew scrambled a drone into the air so Xie Mi could be back on camera.
[Holy crap! So that’s where she was??]
[No wonder she disappeared—she was on the roof!]
[That’s a three-story villa!!]
[How the hell did she even get up there?]
“Teacher Xie! Please come down, I need to tell you something!” the AD yelled up.
“Just say it from there. Going down is a hassle,” Xie Mi refused.
The AD looked troubled, stammering. “It’s… uh… Just come down, it’s not something I can say here!”
Xie Mi loved being contrary. “Nope.”
The AD was frantic, running in circles, but couldn’t out-stubborn Xie Mi. Finally he tried lowering his voice: “You have a mission…”
“Speak up, I can’t hear.”
The AD gritted his teeth, raised his voice a little: “You have a mission…”
“Still can’t hear.”
“YOU HAVE A HIDDEN MISSION!!!!”
That shout echoed across the world.
[Great, now the whole world knows Xie Mi has a hidden mission]
[Hahahaha this woman is so dramatic every time]
Xie Mi finally remembered—ah yes, there was such a scene in the original novel.
After the finger-folding game, each guest would receive a hidden mission. Completing it allowed them first pick of rooms.
That was no small privilege.
“Teacher Xie, your hidden mission is: before 9 p.m., feed three male guests cookies—without anyone realizing you’re on a mission.”
In the director’s booth, Xie Mi received her task.
What a theatrical mission.
It would’ve been one thing just to feed someone on the first day. But everyone knew her relationship with Xiao Jingxi was rotten to the core. No way he’d eat something she fed him.
This was clearly targeting her.
“Okay!” Xie Mi accepted without hesitation.
The women of the Xie family never admit defeat!
[Things are getting interesting]
[The crew’s stirring the pot—Film Emperor Xiao can’t stand Xie Mi, no way he eats her food 🤭]
[I can already imagine how humiliating Bitch Xie’s gonna look later]
At 4 p.m., Qiu Chengye and Liu Woxing returned from shopping.
The moment Qiu Chengye stepped through the door, a dark shadow flew at him.
“Here comes the little flying stick—”
That familiar feeling?!
It was like being a baby again, strapped in a highchair, refusing to eat—until Daddy coaxed him with a spoonful of baby food. And against his will, his mouth opened…
At that time, Daddy had also cooed: “Here comes the little flying stick—”
Aoooh!
Qiu Chengye took the cookie in one bite, chewing with his eyes closed in bliss.
“Mr. Qiu…?” a trembling voice beside him asked.
Qiu Chengye opened his eyes in confusion, only to see Liu Woxing staring at him in horror.
What was she freaking out about? It was just a bite of baby food…
Wait.
Ba…by… food?!
Qiu Chengye whipped his head around—straight into Xie Mi’s kind, fatherly smile.
“Good boy, eat up. Daddy will feed you again next time.”
Qiu Chengye: “?!!!!”
He actually ate something fed by Xie Mi?!
He needed his stomach pumped immediately!!
Meanwhile, the comments was fried to a crisp.
[Wait, Bro Qiu… are you the son here?]
[I thought he was joking—but he really sees Xie Mi as his dad]
[Could it be… Xie Mi is a “dad-type” female celeb?]
[Honestly, that feeding and receiving was so smooth, I thought they really were father and son]
[Ah, father-son love…]
The tag #XieMiBecomesADad# shot up the trending list.
Plenty of nosy netizens thought it meant Xie Mi’s pregnancy had been exposed. They rushed in to watch the drama.
But instead…
She really was a dad.
Alright, fine. Normally they’d skip a crazy show, but one this crazy—they had to stick around and see where it went.
Mission progress: 1/3.
Xie Mi carried out a plate of cookies from the kitchen and, without hesitation, headed for the study upstairs.
Shen Yanqing seemed the easiest to trick—so she’d start with him.
Meanwhile, in the garden.
Xiao Jingxi and Xu Shuangrong were doing their couple routine—watering flowers together, all sweet and lovey-dovey.
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Xiao Jingxi spotted the second-floor French windows.
Inside, Xie Mi and Shen Yanqing were alone together.
And they were…?!
Bang!
Xiao Jingxi slammed the watering can onto the table. “It’s getting late, the air’s turning chilly. Why don’t we go to the study to rest for a bit!”
