Chapter 32
Since ancient times, the kitchen has always been a battlefield in dating shows, and this time was no exception.
Originally, it was supposed to be Xie Mi and Shen Yeqing in charge of dinner, but then Xiao Jingxi came over to join the fun.
“Is there anything I can help with?” He walked up to Xie Mi, flashing what he thought was a charming smile.
“No need.”
The one who answered was Shen Yeqing. He stepped in between Xiao Jingxi and Xie Mi, separating the two, and said with a faint smile, “I’m enough.”
Those words—loaded with meaning.
Xiao Jingxi’s face turned green. He pursed his lips, about to bypass Shen Yeqing.
But every time he stepped left, Shen Yeqing stepped left. When he stepped right, Shen Yeqing followed right, blocking him completely.
Xie Mi glanced back at this scene and immediately rolled her eyes.
“What, you two gonna waltz the dance of love or something?”
[Hahahahahaha Teacher Xie’s mouth is ruthless]
[Yes, this rivalry is delicious!]
[Wait… is Xiao Jingxi seriously going after Old Xie? After all those nasty headlines before, isn’t he embarrassed?]
[Come on, those rumors were spread by brainless fans. The two of them never had actual conflict. If Xiao Jingxi’s interactions with Xu Shuangrong were just part of drama promotion, then he’s single. A single male chasing a single female on a dating show—what’s embarrassing about that?]
[Whatever, I’m here for the drama. Old Xie deserves it!]
While Shen Yeqing and Xiao Jingxi were “dancing,” Xie Mi was already busy with the real work.
Recalling the recipe from the original novel, she heated the pan with oil, stir-fried scallions and ginger, tossed in the mushrooms until fragrant, added water to stew, turned up the heat to reduce, and finally—tossed the whole thing out.
A glorious disaster of a cooking session.
“I’ll do it.”
Shen Yeqing tied a black apron around his waist, rolled up his sleeves to reveal a pale wrist, then methodically sliced, tossed, seared, stirred, and finally sprinkled shredded cheese with leisure before plating.
It looked perfect—
If only the creamy mushroom stew weren’t black.
“This is truly magical.”
Xie Mi gazed at the dish, genuinely in awe. “You didn’t even use any black ingredients, yet you turned white cream black. In a way, aren’t you a genius?”
“Thanks for the compliment.” Shen Yeqing accepted it without an ounce of humility.
Xiao Jingxi, who had just changed into new clothes after Shen Yeqing deliberately splashed water on him earlier, froze when he saw the dish.
“What’s this?”
Xie Mi: “Squid-ink mushroom stew. Try it.”
Xiao Jingxi laughed inwardly, thinking this was proof Xie Mi still had feelings for him.
Confident, he forked up a piece and put it into his mouth. But as he chewed, his expression twisted.
“What was this dish supposed to taste like?”
Shen Yeqing leaned lazily against the counter, his tone casual, “If it’s sweet, that’s normal. If it’s salty, that’s unusual.”
Xie Mi: “If it’s poisonous, that’s fatal.”
Hearing this, Xiao Jingxi immediately grabbed the trash can and threw up.
[How did two kitchen assassins end up together]
[Impressive—each more aggressive than the last, each dish deadlier than the last]
[Xiao Jingxi: Truly blessed to have you both]
The two eventually turned to their phones, searching recipes. After several failed attempts, Xie Mi asked solemnly, “Perhaps… have you ever eaten raw mushroom sashimi?”
Shen Yeqing smiled and refused. “Spare me.”
Finally, they resorted to the simplest method: boiling mushroom slices in water and serving them with various dipping sauces.
Well, that still counts as a “flavorful” meal, right?
When the dishes were served, Xie Mi patted Qiu Chengye’s shoulder gravely. “I’ll never again say your food looks like a table of shit. Cooking… you just have to admit your limits.”
Qiu Chengye, hit out of nowhere: “???”
“Let’s eat something light tonight, for health.” Liu Woxing stepped in just in time to ease the tension. “It’s late. Everyone, sit down.”
So they all began eating.
Fortunately, though bland, the food wasn’t exactly dark cuisine. Tasteless was still better than shit-flavored, so they resigned themselves.
But midway, Xie Mi noticed something odd.
“Xiao Jingxi, is something on your mind? Why are you squatting in the dining room like you’re taking a dump?”
Everyone finally noticed—Xiao Jingxi was crouched on his chair.
His eyes were vacant, hands clawing at the air like he was grabbing invisible objects.
Hiss…
Xie Mi looked at the mushrooms on her plate, faintly sensing something was wrong.
“Hey!”
Qiu Chengye suddenly jumped three feet high, shouting furiously: “My pants bulge and I crush anyone I see!!”
“Pfft—!!”
Director Niu spat out his water on the spot.
What kind of nonsense are you spouting?!
[??????]
[Wtf did this dude just say]
[I knew Young Master Qiu would lose it sooner or later. With his arrogant personality being suppressed by Xie Mi for so long, he was bound to snap]
Smack!
Liu Woxing suddenly slapped Qiu Chengye hard across the face. “Shut the hell up! You arrogant scrub, a little family money makes you act all high and mighty? Damn, I must’ve grown eyes on my ass to even look at you!”
“Uwaaa…” Qiu Chengye clutched his face, bawling.
Liu Woxing rolled her eyes, plopped down on a chair, picked up chopsticks between two fingers, and took a deep drag as if they were a cigarette.
“Cry, cry, cry. You’re crying away this family’s blessings!”
[……?]
[Sis! Sis, what happened to you? Why are you going crazy too?!]
[Holy shit… is the recording this intense? Even gentle Miss Woxing got driven insane]
Only Xie Mi knew the truth—Liu Woxing wasn’t being driven insane.
She was just showing her true self.
Yes.
Privately, Liu Woxing could drink and smoke like anyone else.
Wait, hold on.
Why were there subtitles under Liu Woxing’s words?
Thinking she was hallucinating, Xie Mi squinted to focus, but the scene before her only grew more and more distorted…
“Stop eating! The food’s poisoned!!”
With a roar, Xie Mi flipped the table, grabbed a banana, and leapt into the living room on all fours. “I saw the one who poisoned us! Don’t you dare run, bastard—I’ll stab you to death with this banana!!!”
The assistant director, chased for no reason, wailed in tears.
“Help! Help meeee!!!”
Shen Yeqing: “……”
He looked at the overturned pot of mushrooms, thought for a few seconds, then asked: “You just said—these mushrooms were shipped from where?”
Xu Shuangrong: “Yun City.”
“I recall mushrooms are a local specialty there.”
“……”
Case closed—mass mushroom poisoning.
A few minutes later, symptoms appeared in Shen Yeqing and Xu Shuangrong too.
And then the whole atmosphere changed.
Some ran wildly, some cried, some smoked and drank, some hammered the floor…
[Ahhh, it’s been so long since I’ve seen such a delightfully crazy show]
