Chapter 202: Returning the Tea Leaves
Jiang Mansion Tea Room.
Censor He, having taken a few strikes from the stick, still had to endure the pain to persuade Commander Jiang.
“Don’t lower yourself to the level of a child. You’ve still got it easy; your kid just doesn’t understand poetry. Mine is even worse—making her study is like asking for her life. All she knows is how to paint her brows and apply makeup all day long. Can being pretty put food on the table?”
Commander Jiang smoothed his hair. Though it was messy, he still looked quite good.
Good enough to be appetizing.
Sometimes, being good-looking can put food on the table.
He sighed, “I beat her not because she doesn’t understand. She understands, she understands everything, but she just refuses to study properly and does it on purpose to infuriate me. You don’t know—that three-piece toiletry set, the washroom, the slippers, the pajamas, the cotton robes—she came up with all of it. Her brain is better than mine and my Father’s combined. As long as it involves making life comfortable, she can come up with all sorts of brilliant ideas. For instance, bathing—she even invented a showerhead, making copperware bloom like a flower to spray water, just so she can take a hot bath without having to do the work herself.”
Censor He:…
So, I’m the only one actually scolding a child, and you’re just here showing off?
It’s late at night, is this really necessary?
“Where can one find that showerhead? Even the Censors Suite doesn’t have one,” Censor He couldn’t help but point out.
“It’s not finished yet; it’s a bit complicated. We have two at home. If Brother He is interested, you can try it out tomorrow.”
“Speaking of which, Brother Jiang, using a stick won’t do; it’s easy to cause injury. You should use bamboo twigs—the thin, dense kind. It hurts over a wider area when it hits the skin, and it’s not easy to cause injury.” Censor He rubbed his own leg and suggested sincerely.
Jiang Changtian gave a dry laugh. Although he held a stick, he hadn’t actually hit her hard. His daughter was so cute, how could he bear to hit her? He was just extremely angry, and at most, he would pull on his own hair; he wouldn’t strike his daughter. Tonight was just a coincidence.
“My apologies, Brother He. This tea tonight is quite good; it was also created by my Mianmian. She selected hundreds of tea trees, finally settled on one, planted and cared for it herself, and picked it on specific days each year. The taste is clear, sweet, and refreshing. There’s less than a pound of it in a whole year. Tonight, it was only because you took a beating on her behalf that I was able to scavenge some from her; you could say you’re basking in your own reflected glory. You must taste it properly.”
Censor He:…
Pfft!
Gongfu Tea is popular in the capital, and Censor He knows how to brew it too.
But this Jingzhou style had a few extra things.
There were also a tea scoop, a fairness pitcher, a tea strainer, and a tea needle.
And a small scale for weighing.
Watching Jiang the Second stingily weigh out only five qian of tea leaves, Censor He found him increasingly displeasing.
It was a pity about that handsome face; looking at it was just annoying.
Jiang Changtian weighed and brewed the tea unhurriedly.
He wasn’t lying; this tea was truly excellent.
He didn’t easily brew it for just anyone.
He felt that Censor He was a useful person—definitely of great use and value—which was why he brought it out.
Jiang Changtian was someone who basically didn’t engage in useless social interactions.
He was friendly to outsiders only if they were useful. At other times, he preferred to accompany his family, even if he was so angry at his little daughter that he wanted to pull his hair out, he was still willing.
The small charcoal fire burned, the spring water boiled, and as it rinsed the curled tea leaves, the leaves unfurled, the tea turned a pale green, and the aroma began to permeate the air.
“Many people wash the tea for the first steep and pour away the first brew, but this tea is truly precious and rare, so when I brew it, I never pour it away. It can be drunk directly.”
Jiang Changtian used small tongs to pick up a very, very small cup—not even a gulp, just half a mouthful of tea—and placed it in front of Censor He.
Censor He was speechless. Such a tiny cup—is this what you call precious? Is it delicious? The guest waits for half a day, and before even wetting their teeth, it’s already finished.
Forget it, I ended up getting a beating for no reason.
Even if the current Emperor dislikes me, he has never beaten me.
Thinking about it, it felt like a loss, but the tea did smell fragrant.
Censor He picked up the hot little cup and downed it in one gulp. He only felt a warm current flow down his throat, and his pores seemed to relax, suddenly making him feel refreshed.
Censor He’s eyes widened. Is this normal good tea?
Then what have we been drinking all this time?
He waited eagerly for the next cup, watching Jiang the Second still there rinsing the cup with water—hurry up and pour it…
He didn’t mind the cup he had already used; there was no need to rinse it.
Watching Jiang the Second carefully use the tongs to bring over half a cup, he felt anxious.
He wished he could pour himself a big cup and just drink it.
It was elegant, sure, but it really made one impatient.
After another cup went down his throat, he finally managed to rinse his teeth.
The fragrance lingered in his mouth.
True lingering fragrance.
Censor He remembered the Censors Suite that cost a thousand taels a night and pointed out again: “This tea is not bad; it’s even better than the tea in the Censors Suite.”
Jiang Changtian smiled, “That’s only natural. The tea in the Censors Suite, while also picked from the high mountain clouds, is something you can buy with money. This tea at home was planted by my daughter herself; money can’t buy it.”
Censor He:… I don’t have money.
Afterward, he drank the tea earnestly.
Watching Jiang the Second brew the tea earnestly—well, given Commander Jiang’s looks, being able to drink a cup of tea brewed by him personally was indeed something money couldn’t buy.
This small amount of five qian of tea became more flavorful with every sip.
It even gave a feeling of being drunk.
He broke out in a hot sweat from head to toe.
There was even a sense of tipsiness.
It was simply too magical.
In more than half a lifetime, he had never drunk such delicious tea.
Censor He felt that Jiang the Second was right about one thing: his daughter really knew how to enjoy life; she had a talent for every aspect of improving the quality of life.
Having drunk too much tea, he was tipsy, he was drunk.
When Censor He woke up the next day, he was bewildered to see the little girl from the Jiang Family approaching to perform the apprenticeship ceremony.
He looked at Jiang the Second, who was wearing white robes and looking refreshed.
Censor He frowned, “Are we not going to the government office today?”
Jiang the Second laughed, “It’s a day off today. In our Jingzhou government office, we work five days and rest two; it’s extremely humane. We must serve the common people, but also serve our family; family are common people too.”
Jiang Mianmian looked innocent. Who could have known that after waking up, she would have gained a teacher?
She didn’t believe that after all her fussing, her Father would still not give up.
She really didn’t want to be some talented woman or an outstanding young lady. She had worked hard enough in her past life; in this life, she just wanted to lie flat—any way to lie, any way to be flat.
Looking at the clever and nearly bald Uncle He before her, Jiang Mianmian put on a sweet smile and offered a bag of tea leaves.
This was really good tea. She had added a drop of spirit spring water to it, but later she noticed many ants and animals crawling toward it, so she didn’t dare to mess around with it anymore.
Censor He originally wanted to renege on his word, but upon seeing that bag of tea leaves…
He couldn’t resist and accepted it.
Having accepted the tea leaves, he also accepted a student.
Actually, when it came to teaching students, he did have experience.
After all, the He family had produced several top scholars and third-place finishers.
He didn’t believe he couldn’t handle a child.
A young girl in her early years—a piece of cake.
However, remembering the translation of “The passing of time is like this” that he heard from Jiang the Second last night, he became a little more cautious.
He began, “I am very strict when accepting students. I will set a test for you. If you can pass it, it won’t be too late to perform the apprenticeship ceremony.”
Jiang Mianmian nodded obediently.
Censor He thought that since the test Jiang the Second gave yesterday was from the analects, the little girl must have studied the analects. He would just focus on the analects and let the little girl write out the translations.
As long as it was passable, he would accept that bag of tea leaves.
The questions Censor He set were considered very simple, with no obscure ones.
The main focus was on going easy on her.
Jiang Mianmian looked at the questions, trying hard to recall the content of “the analects of Misinterpretation”. She didn’t want to learn from Uncle He; Uncle He had so little hair.
Censor He had breakfast at the Jiang Mansion.
The breakfast was so delicious, the noodles were so chewy, he liked them very much.
He loved wheaten food.
After finishing, he wiped his oily mouth and went to check the student’s work.
Jiang the Second was actually accompanying her personally.
Censor He thought to himself, “It’s fine, don’t worry, I won’t hit your child.”
He pushed open the study door and walked in. He saw a girl, her back straight, writing earnestly. The way she held the brush was also very good, stroke by stroke, looking incredibly obedient.
Censor He thought, “Jiang the Second just spoils his child too much. When the child is in front of him, she tears the roof off, but if I were the one in charge, there wouldn’t be such problems.”
“Look, isn’t she quite good? Quite obedient.”
The translations she was asked to write were also done.
Censor He picked it up and read it gently:
“The Master did not speak of strange phenomena, physical force, disorder, or spiritual beings.
Translation: The Master doesn’t need to say a word; he uses physical force to make people mentally disordered.
If one hears the Way in the morning, one can die in the evening without regret.
Translation: If you ask for directions to your house in the morning, you’ll be dead by the evening.
If they come, then soothe them.
Translation: Since they have come, then bury them here.
The passing of time is like this, never ceasing day or night.
Translation: The person who died looks like my husband, looking like him during the day, and looking like him at night.
What Boya thought of, Zhong Ziqi would surely grasp.
Translation: Boya thought to himself, he must obtain Zhong Ziqi.
… (Note 1)
Censor He’s cheeks twitched back and forth. He painfully took out the bag of tea leaves from his person and returned it to Jiang the Second: “I cannot teach her, I really cannot teach her. I admit defeat. Returning your tea leaves.”
…
(Note 1: The humorous translations are from internet memes.)
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