Chapter 39
After three hundred rounds of chase, Xie Mi and the dark-skinned man stood panting heavily across a strip of greenery, both hands braced on their knees.
“Sister X–Xie… why are you running…”
“You see a lunatic, and you don’t run?”
“I’m not a lunatic, I’m your new assistant!”
“New… assistant?”
Xie Mi finally caught her breath, eyeing him suspiciously. “Which side hired you as an assistant?”
The Xie family? The program team? Or…
“Of course the company!”
The least likely option popped up.
“That stingy company of mine actually had money to hire an assistant?” Xie Mi’s face was full of disbelief.
Speaking of the agency the original host belonged to—it was truly an oddity in the industry.
No marketing, no PR, no job sourcing.
Every artist under them was a nobody forced to fend for themselves. To get gigs, they had to send resumes out personally. To catch announcements, they took the bus. Forget assistants—even managers didn’t exist there.
All the artists were managed directly by the HR department.
Ding—
President Zhang of the company sent her a WeChat message.
[My surname’s Zhang, don’t you dare act arrogant]: Little Xie, forgot to tell you—you’re our company’s hottest artist right now. The company went all out and hired you an assistant. From now on, he’ll follow your schedule.
[My surname’s Zhang, don’t you dare act arrogant]: Anyway, the janitor quit so I have to clean now.
[Go to hell with your cilantro]: …
Putting down her phone, Xie Mi looked at the dark-skinned guy in front of her and asked the question she was most curious about: “How much is the company paying you?”
“Eight hundred yuan a month! Plus they’re giving me an internship certificate! President Zhang is so kind!” He grinned wide, pure and dumb.
Ah—so he was a college student. That explained it.
“Sis, just call me Mao Mao from now on.”
“Jumping straight to nicknames feels a bit improper, doesn’t it? What’s your full name?”
“Nickname’s fine! Nickname is better!”
At that moment, the airport broadcast for lost and found blared, “Mr. Diao Mao, your ID card was found at Terminal 1. Please come to the Lost and Found Center immediately…” (TN: Diao Mao = Similar pronunciation with hairy d*ck)
Mao Mao slapped his thigh. “Oh no, my ID!”
Xie Mi: “…”
Right, nickname it was.
…
As the god-tier extrovert she was, Xie Mi quickly hit it off with Mao Mao, who was also an extrovert.
From him, she learned that during the three days of filming in Nanhai City, he’d also be staying there.
“The company even arranged accommodation for me. If anything comes up during recording, just message me anytime!”
“This broke company actually paid for your housing?!” Xie Mi was shocked.
“Yep. President Zhang’s uncle’s uncle is a fisherman here. I’m staying at his place—room and board included!”
“…”
That made much more sense.
With an hour left before filming, Xie Mi decided to change her outfit.
Since she was in Nanhai City, she had to blend in with the locals.
So she dragged Mao Mao to the local wholesale clothing market, swapped into a floral shirt, baggy shorts, and flip-flops, then hit the salon for a new hairstyle before heading to the bus stop Director Niu had designated.
From afar, a romantic BGM floated through the air. A pink, heart-covered bus slowly rolled up to the stop.
“Welcome aboard the Love Detective Bus…”
Director Niu leaned out the window all smiles, but the moment he spotted Xie Mi, he let out a sharp screech.
“Holy hell, where did this kill-matte hairstyle come from!!”
“I don’t like that comment. Retract it.”
Xie Mi protectively touched the three tufts of hair sticking up on her head. “The salon boss styled this for me personally. He said it’s how locals here do it—super trendy.”
Director Niu collapsed back into his seat, devastated. “Not again… why this death style…”
[Damn!! Opening screen crit! In just a few days, Sister Xie’s leveled up her madness again.]
[When I saw the pink bus and heard the romantic BGM, I knew something was off. The moment Sister Xie appeared, the vibe was right.]
[Old Xie, what is this hairstyle supposed to mean? You’ve made me very angry. This time it’s fine. Next time, don’t do it again. If you do… then it’s still fine.]
[Truly, the hardest soft persimmon.]
When Xie Mi boarded, she realized the other guests were already there.
So this was the final stop.
Director Niu, meanwhile, was still pounding the window in regret, muttering miserably:
“I deliberately saved her for last… I carefully built up the pink-bubble atmosphere… why, why is it still ruined—why?!”
As the staff adjusted her mic, Xie Mi overheard him and suddenly understood.
So what Director Niu wanted was romance.
She decided to help him out. Excitedly, she declared:
“Clouds long for robes, flowers long for beauty; spring breezes caress the railing, dewdrops shine bright. Good morning, beautiful peonies!”
Pfft— Qiu Chengye spat out his drink.
Romantic? Very much so. Never do it again.
[As expected of Sister Xie—her lines sound like national classics!]
[I’m done for hahahaha]
[I could never in my life come up with something so corny. Only Old Xie could.]
This time, Director Niu’s spirit was completely crushed. Utterly dead.
Xie Mi, however, was quite pleased with her corny pickup line. The only issue was that the three “antennae” on her head made moving around the bus difficult, so she prepared to quickly find a seat.
But the seating was delicate.
Qiu Chengye and Liu Woxing were sitting together. The other three—Xu Shuangrong, Xiao Jingxi, and Shen Yuqing—each had an empty seat beside them.
“Sit.” Xiao Jingxi suddenly called, naturally patting the seat next to him.
Smack—
Shen Yuqing casually lifted one long leg onto the spot, his eyes glinting with amusement as he looked at Xiao Jingxi. “Nope. She’s not sitting here.”
Xiao Jingxi hadn’t expected Shen Yuqing to openly challenge him on camera and froze for a moment.
Just then, Xie Mi lifted her own leg, stepped right over Shen Yuqing’s, and plopped herself down next to Xu Shuangrong.
Not only Xiao Jingxi but even Xu Shuangrong seemed a little stunned.
She opened her mouth as if to speak, but in the end said nothing.
“Does Teacher Xie dislike me that much?” Shen Yuqing leaned forward from the row ahead, his handsome face carrying a pitiful, puppy-like expression.
[Holy hell, we’re starting straight with a love triangle—I’m obsessed.]
[So Mr. Shen has a puppy attribute? Aaaaah!]
[If Old Shen had a tail, it’d be wagging like crazy right now.]
“Tch.” Xie Mi didn’t bother to answer, rolling her eyes dramatically.
She still hadn’t forgotten how she’d treated Shen Yuqing to Sha County food, only for him to somehow eat over a hundred yuan’s worth.
She had picked the cheapest restaurant, and he still managed to rack up a hundred!
With that much, she could’ve hosted eight banquet tables at Sha County!
Just for that, she needed to stay mad at him for at least two more days.
“Welcome, teachers, to beautiful Nanhai City! Over the next three days and two nights, we’ll be filming in this seaside paradise!”
Even the bee mascots Director Niu handed out were painted pink—his obsession with pink bubbles was obvious.
“Today’s schedule: beach camping! But before we arrive, we’ll play our first bus game—”
“Guardian Angel!”
The Guardian Angel game—a heartwarming way to quickly deepen bonds between strangers.
Director Niu smiled confidently.
No way Xie Mi could ruin a wholesome game like this.
