Chapter 15: My Third Uncle Brings Great Doom
Chi Fengxiao’s scalp tingled. “Are you trying to send me to an early grave? Get up right now!”
“Uncle, give me a hand. I ran too fast just now and my waist locked up.”
“……”
Chi Fengxiao, torn between anger and laughter, pulled her up. “Why the hell would you deliberately scare people like that?”
Chi Qian rubbed her waist with a pitiful look. “A bunch of strangers barged into my room. I happened to be stretching, got startled, and just… chased them without thinking.”
“…Using that upside-down crawl of yours?”
“Oh. I figured that way was faster.”
The production crew stood frozen, stone-faced: “……”
Well, she wasn’t wrong. The speed had nearly scared them into booking the next rocket out of this world.
The director cautiously stepped back in. “Chi Film Empr—”
Chi Fengxiao shot him a warning glare. “Just call me by name during filming.”
His carefully crafted “humble grassroots” persona could not be broken.
“O-okay, Brother Chi.” The director was still confused. “So this young lady is the family member partnering with you on this variety show? Could you introduce her to us?”
That reminded Chi Fengxiao of the whole arrangement. He told the crew to wait in the living room, then dragged Chi Qian into the bathroom under the pretense of washing up.
He immediately rang Manager Zhao, scolding him the moment the call connected: where the hell was his nephew?!
Manager Zhao: “Ancestor, I forgot to tell you—my nephew got chased by a dog last night, ran three streets, and broke his leg! We’re all at the hospital now. He won’t make it.”
“If he can’t come, you couldn’t have said so earlier?! What do I do now?!”
“Don’t you still have that little girl at home? I’m watching the livestream from the hospital—since when did you start hiding a girl away?”
Chi Fengxiao: “Hide my ass! You want me locked up for statutory crimes? That’s my niece!”
Manager Zhao chuckled. “Well, that’s even better! You don’t know this, but in just those few minutes your niece appeared on screen, the viewer count shot up like crazy. Her variety show instincts are miles ahead of my dumb nephew!”
“Hand her the phone. Let me talk!”
Chi Fengxiao glanced at Chi Qian, lowering his voice. “She thinks I’m just a background extra. If you wreck my persona, you can do this damn show yourself.”
Manager Zhao: “…First it’s corpse roles, now extra roles—do you think I haven’t had enough of your nonsense? Keep it up and I’ll expose you to your niece right now!”
“I’ll raise your pay.”
“…Boss, I admit my tone was a little harsh just now.”
Chi Fengxiao shoved the phone into Chi Qian’s hand, signaling her to answer.
She looked puzzled but put it to her ear. “Hello?”
Manager Zhao instantly switched into a syrupy, doting voice, spinning a sob story—begging Chi Qian to accompany her poor, penniless uncle on a variety show.
Between sniffling and weeping, he painted such a tragic picture it seemed if Chi Qian refused, Chi Fengxiao would be tossed out by his landlord and starve on the streets.
Chi Qian thought to herself: a third uncle who didn’t even have a hundred yuan for gas money… probably could starve to death.
Then Manager Zhao dropped the killer line: “Don’t you want to make some pocket money over summer break? The final winner of this program gets a five-million-yuan prize!”
Chi Qian, who had been wavering: ＼(☆o☆)／
Five million! Think of all the spicy strips, fish snacks, and gummy bears that could buy!
She’d be a fool to hesitate. Even one second of doubt would be an insult to money!
“Okay, I’ll go with Uncle!” she agreed in one breath. Summer job? She was in!
Chi Fengxiao snatched the phone back. “Do you seriously think she’s cut out for this?”
She didn’t look like she had the fate of someone destined to be famous.
Manager Zhao: “Please. Even if you don’t believe in her, at least believe in your family’s superior genes. One look at that face and I knew—she’s born to dominate the entertainment industry.”
Chi Fengxiao remained unimpressed. Just a yellow-haired brat who hadn’t even grown all her feathers.
His brows knitted tightly as he said, annoyed yet resigned, “Chi Qian, let’s set some ground rules.”
Chi Qian thought: Figures. Everyone in the Chi family loves their rules. The last one to do this to me was Grandpa.
Chi Fengxiao raised one finger. “First, on the show don’t act too close with me. I’ll be uncomfortable.”
“Second, take care of yourself. Whatever happens, handle it on your own. Don’t expect me to help.”
“Third, be sharp. Don’t embarrass me.”
Chi Qian: “Uncle, you’re just an extra. Pretty sure there’s no face for me to ruin. But if my classmates see me on a show with an uncle that clueless, I’ll be the one embarrassed.”
Chi Fengxiao: “……”
Manager Zhao: “Hahahahahahahaha!”
And just like that, the variety show was settled.
On the phone, Manager Zhao quickly started giving Chi Qian a crash course, “This show’s called Escape: Heartthrob of Ten Thousand. It’s got both survival and parent-child moments. Leave the important stuff to your uncle, you just need to be the cute accessory.”
“You know what heartthrob means, I won’t explain. Anyway, blah blah blah…”
While listening, Chi Qian fished out her tortoise shell and did a quick divination.
“This is bad.”
Manager Zhao asked warmly, “What’s bad?”
“For this show… my third uncle might face great misfortune.”
Chi Fengxiao instinctively touched the chest muscles he’d trained for years and thought:
Does she mean my pecs are going to get even bigger?
After the secret bathroom phone call, Chi Qian and Chi Fengxiao returned to the living room for their pre-shoot interview.
Because of that refreshing little opening just now, their livestream room had the highest viewership of all the guests.
For fun, the director had them introduce each other’s identities.
Chi Fengxiao: “Chi Qian, my niece.”
Chi Qian hesitated before speaking, then turned to ask, “Uncle, what’s your name again?”
“…Didn’t the old man tell you?”
“My grandpa told me your name, but… it’s not something I should say in front of so many people.”
The director smelled a golden traffic moment: “Say it! Little sister, don’t be afraid!”
Chi Qian: “Chi Sanbao.” (Sanbao = Third Baby)
Director: pfft.
Cameraman: pfft.
Livestream chat: pffft hahahahaha!
And just like that, it spread—Film Emperor Chi’s childhood nickname was Chi Sanbao!
Only Chi Fengxiao’s face turned black as he ground his teeth: “That old man even told you this? Does he really think I don’t need any dignity?”
That was something from so many years ago!
Chi Qian innocently spread her hands. “After hearing that nickname from Grandpa, I realized it doesn’t really matter what your actual name is, Third Uncle.”
Because no matter what it is, the aura had already been completely destroyed by Chi Sanbao.
Chi Fengxiao turned to glare at the camera, voice icy: “This part—cut it out.”
The director held back laughter: “This is live. We can’t cut it.”
Livestream chat:
[That’s right! We all heard it! Both my ears heard Film Emperor Chi’s nickname—Chi! San! Bao!]
[My brother’s a carnivore-type alpha male, and he has no dignity left ahhh!]
[Hahahahaha, little sister’s way too honest—she’s got real material, dropping bombs on air!]
[Am I the only one who thinks she doesn’t even know her own uncle’s name? Feels like a fake niece.]
[Yeah, I agree. She must be an actress hired by Film Emperor Chi. He doesn’t even seem willing to introduce her properly.]
The fans were suspicious of Chi Qian’s identity, secretly praying she’d stay far away from their brother and not leech off him.
