Chapter 24
When Xie Mi came downstairs after changing into her loungewear, the other two pairs had also just returned from their dates.
All four were sitting on the living room sofa. Qiu Chengye was enthusiastically talking, while Liu Woxing smiled as he listened.
Xu Shuangrong and Xiao Jingxi sat side by side, but they weren’t talking to each other, and the atmosphere felt a bit strange.
Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Xiao Jingxi instinctively looked over.
“Xie—”
“Old Xie, want some chocolate?” Shen Yanqing came down the stairs behind her.
Xie Mi immediately turned around. “Yes!”
Shen Yanqing handed her a big bag of chocolates, all matcha-flavored.
“When did you buy these?” Her face lit up with delight.
“Just went to the supermarket.” Shen Yanqing raised his brows with his usual casual arrogance. “Shouldn’t you be saying something?”
“What should I say?”
“Say thank you.” His lips curved lazily. “Go on, say ‘thank you, uncle.’”
Xie Mi: “Lame.”
Watching all this, Xiao Jingxi’s face darkened: “…”
“Teachers, are we all gathered now? Perfect timing, it’s time for our audience interaction segment.”
Director Niu stood in the middle of the living room, as usual wearing his little bee headband.
“To enhance engagement with our viewers, our show has a special setup.”
“At 8 p.m. tonight, we’ll have the super-topic interaction. The guests will log into their Weibo accounts, drop into our program’s official super-topic, and chat with the audience in real time.”
“The viewers have been waiting there for a while, so please get ready.”
Xie Mi perked up with interest.
She still remembered that in the original novel, the first super-topic interaction was dominated by Xiao Jingxi and Xu Shuangrong’s fans. It had been a huge spectacle.
The two would even mention each other during fan chats, tossing around sweet moments — one of the classic highlight scenes for the Xiao–Rong CP.
With the mindset of “getting front-row seats to eat melon,” Xie Mi clicked into the super-topic.
What greeted her, however, was a flood of her own memes.
Xie Mi: “?”
Her sliding-entry JPG was captioned: Here comes your strength.
Her pouty JPG was captioned: So what, you gonna beat me to death?
Her mop-swinging gif was captioned: My mental breakdown is about to trigger.
Xie Mi: “Lame.”
Instead of the expected flood of Xu–Xiao fans, she was bombarded with mentions from a bunch of users with chaotic usernames.
[Crazy Aunt Pulling Noodles]: Old Xie, do you know why tomatoes can’t be eaten with beef? Because tomatoes are red, and the cow will charge at you inside your stomach. @XieMi
Xie Mi, “Drink Mengniu milk, blindfold the cow.”
[Stinky Money in My Pocket]: Teacher Xie, I always crave fried chicken. Is my body lacking some element? @XieMi
Xie Mi, “Lacking vitamin K/F/C. Remember to take it every Thursday on schedule.”
[Shy Little Mei]: @XieMi Sob sob sob, it’s my first online relationship. My boyfriend keeps texting “I miss you.” What should I reply?
Xie Mi, “If you think like that, I can’t help you.”
[Watashiwa]: Old Xie! Do you like the sea? I love the sea. When I’m happy, I watch it; when I’m depressed, I can jump. @XieMi
Xie Mi, “No money, you can go down.”
Just as Xie Mi finished replying to this group of trolling fans, she saw a hate comment pop up.
The haters, though late, had arrived.
[Trash5SnackTime]: @XieMi 2k a night, deal?
The familiar slut-shaming + prostitution rumor combo.
Her fans were furious and started cursing the hater, but Xie Mi remained calm and coolly replied:
Xie Mi, “At night I only stay till dawn. Funeral service plus suona performance gets 20% off. If you book the seventh-day ceremony, you get a free seven-day package. Extra people will cost extra. How many in your family died?”
[Trash5SnackTime]: ?
The hater, unfazed by the fans’ curses, was completely broken by Xie Mi’s response.
After cursing wildly, they rage-quit.
Her fans were stunned.
[Pick One: Mom or Thread]: Damn, Sister Xie is a beast!
[Heartless Stepmom]: This is the battle I live for! So satisfying!
[8AM Slave]: Hi Sister Xie, I’m a vet from next door. Just wanted to tell you some bad news. Your cow died.
This god-tier clapback instantly sent her trending. Before she knew it, she had become the number-one in super-topic interaction.
Xu Shuangrong and Xiao Jingxi’s supposed fan interaction was nowhere to be seen — the screen was completely overtaken by her fans and chaotic melon-eaters.
All eyes were on her.
[Hahahaha how are there so many trolls appearing at once?]
[Wait, her popularity surpassed Actor Xiao’s? Unreal!]
[I declare: Old Xie is the GOAT!!!]
“Teacher Xie!”
After the interaction ended, the assistant director came running, thrilled, “You’re now the hottest guest on the show! The sponsor has already decided you’ll film the very first commercial!”
“Huh??” Xie Mi nearly choked on her water.
The first commercial was originally meant for Xu Shuangrong. How did it land on her?
Xie Mi, you’re really blowing up.
“Tomorrow morning, please wake up early. During breakfast, take the sponsor’s milk from the fridge, drink a sip, and say the ad line…”
As the assistant director explained the product placement, out of the corner of her eye she noticed Xu Shuangrong walking over.
“Teacher Xie, congratulations. I’ll head to bed first.” Xu Shuangrong smiled faintly and went into her room.
Xie Mi glanced at the hand hidden in Xu Shuangrong’s sleeve, raising a brow.
…
For the sake of the guests’ rest, the live broadcast was paused at night.
Xie Mi gamed in her room until 2 a.m. Then, hungry, she went downstairs to the kitchen for food — only to find someone waiting there.
“I knew you’d come.” In the dark, Xiao Jingxi stood in front of the fridge.
Xie Mi instantly got pissed.
She had only snuck food at midnight three nights in a row. Was that worth stationing someone to guard the fridge? Small-minded! Very small-minded!
Even though the show had only been running for three days.
“Let’s talk.” Xiao Jingxi stepped forward and tried to grab her hand without asking.
Xie Mi dodged with gamer-like precision.
Xiao Jingxi immediately cracked, “You’re so natural with Shen Yanqing, but the moment it’s me, you can’t wait to dodge. What am I to you!!”
Since he insisted on humiliating himself, Xie Mi had no choice but to deliver the killing blow.
“What are you? You’re the evergreen of simps, the backbone of jokers, McDonald’s mascot, Gotham’s big boss, the tallest card in the deck, Batman’s best client, runner-up of all spare tires, a permanent resident of the blacklist.”
Xiao Jingxi rolled his eyes in rage, nearly fainting on the spot.
Still unwilling, he pressed on: “Xie Mi, all this time, have you never thought of me?”
“Whether I think of you isn’t important. If you think of me, you can always call me.”
His eyes lit up, thinking he had a chance.
But then Xie Mi followed with: “Bank account hasn’t changed, still Industrial and Commercial Bank.”
Xiao Jingxi choked and nearly passed out again.
A chance? Oh, there’s a chance.
The circus has a spot for him tonight!
