Chapter 94: The Bed Isn’t a Bed, It’s a Slacker’s Paradise
At that moment, someone knocked on the door. Jiang Zhuzhi went to answer, then called back: “Heyi, your friends are here.”
Jiang Heyi snapped out of his thoughts, instantly got up, and fled the dining table.
Chi Qian didn’t think much of it. After finishing off a plate of mulberries, she was ready to head home.
Outside, she saw Jiang Heyi with the same few boys who had hassled him at the hospital. They were shoving him around, being very rude.
Chi Qian rubbed her chin, then walked back inside.
When she came out again, she was carrying two buckets. Without a word, she dumped them straight down from the upstairs balcony.
Splash—
The boys below were instantly drenched.
All of them became a cluster of dripping black dots.
“What the hell! Who the hell pours dirty ink water from upstairs? Sick in the head?!”
“Come down here and fight me! If you don’t, you’re not even human!”
“Say your name if you dare! I’ll make sure you regret it!”
Chi Qian stepped onto the railing, one foot up high. “Come up then! Who’s afraid of who? A bunch of toilet clogs who only know how to bully the weak!”
“Listen up! This young lady’s name isn’t something I change lightly—my name is Gu Hua!”
The boys below cursed: “Gu Hua, huh? You just wait! If I don’t crush you, I’ll take your surname!”
“Brothers, let’s go!”
Covered in sticky ink, the boys couldn’t bear it anymore. They didn’t even bother teaching Jiang Heyi a lesson—just ran.
Jiang Heyi looked up. Chi Qian was leaning against the railing, showing eight mulberry-colored teeth in a wide grin, her face shining.
His heart suddenly skipped hard.
Though the stench of ink was overwhelming.
*
Chi Qian carried the diary home and saw Chi Muze coming out of her grandfather’s study with a sour look.
“Big Uncle, did you come to play with me?” she ran over cheerfully.
Though she’d spent the least time with this uncle, thanks to his “money superpowers,” she was always close to him.
After all, this was her superman uncle—the one who laid golden eggs in her bank account!
Chi Muze replied gently, “Yes. And I also came to discuss the development project with your grandfather. It’s been confirmed—there really is a tomb under that land.”
The state would take over, but naturally they’d be compensated.
In fact, the authorities had even shared some useful inside information with them.
Since their project hadn’t officially started, stopping now saved them huge losses.
Chi Qian frowned. “Isn’t that a good thing? Why aren’t you happy, Uncle?”
“I’m not upset about that.” Chi Muze sighed. “It’s because I have to go abroad again tomorrow for business.”
Chi Qian understood at once. “Uncle, are you homesick?”
Made sense. She also hated being away from her bed—every time she left it, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.
The bed isn’t a bed—it’s a slacker’s paradise.
“It’s not that.” Chi Muze found it hard to explain. This trip felt… more like he was being exiled.
Just then, he caught sight of Chi Qian’s pitch-black mouth and felt his heart skip.
“Chi Qian, did you eat coal? Why is your mouth so black?”
“Is it?” Chi Qian stuck out her tongue to look. It was practically shiny black. “Wow, I’m so cool!”
“….” Chi Muze hauled her into the bathroom. “Wash it off. If your grandfather sees, he’ll definitely scold you.”
Chi Qian thought to herself: Uncle actually badmouthing Grandpa? Rare sight.
After scrubbing the coal-child clean, Chi Muze was finally satisfied.
He still had work to handle, so he didn’t stay long.
Chi Qian greeted her grandfather, then went back to her room to check the homework Jiang Heyi had written.
Food Review: The taste was unbelievably foul, like a chemical spill exploding across my taste buds. Hard to swallow, dizzying. Eating it caused fainting.
Chi Qian: “Wow, not bad—he’s got talent with words.”
As for the observation diary, no need to check—she’d just hand it straight to Grandpa later.
She put the notebook on her desk, pulled out a math book, and prepared to study seriously.
Two seconds later, she was face down on the pillow, fast asleep.
*
The third recording of Escape, the Idol’s Way was about to start when Chi Fengxiao dragged Chi Qian back home.
This time, the production team had learned their lesson.
To avoid being tricked by Chi Qian’s traps again, they had painstakingly studied booby traps and criminal psychology.
This time, there was no way they’d fall for her games!
So they launched a surprise attack at three in the morning.
Live Chatroom:
[At this hour, even my dog’s still out in the field taking a dump. Production team, you’re insane.]
[Every time it’s earlier. Are you not satisfied until you completely destroy my brother and Qian Qian?]
[Qian… hehe… Qian… hehe hehe… Qian… hehehehehe]
[Who let this creep in here? Kick him out.]
The director, confident, went to open the Chi household door—only to find the lock had been replaced with a digital panel.
What was this?!
Looking closer, there was even a line of text on the screen:
“Door lock is connected to an automatic alarm system. Answer the question below and enter the correct answer to unlock. Otherwise, you will be electrocuted ^_^.”
Riddle:
“Two men go to the riverside,
The child wears a crown but his head is shaved,
Golden lotus can’t move forward, only takes tiny steps,
Come here, lovers, to gather.
Remove the head of the lotus, fill a cart with writing,
The eunuch works so hard he breaks his right arm,
Eighteen bamboo sticks joined as one,
Peony petals fall, whitening the ground.
Guess eight characters.”
The director: “……”
Chatroom:
[This level of cruelty can only be Qian Qian’s doing.]
[Hahaha, when it comes to putting the production team in their place, it has to be her!]
[See? That’s what you get for coming so early—you can’t even get in the door.]
[I bet those eight characters are definitely: “Anyone who wakes me up, scram!”]
[So complicated… my neck feels itchy, I think my brain’s about to grow mold.]
The producer frowned: “Let’s skip the first line for now, ‘water by the shore’ or whatever. The second line, ‘the child wears a crown, head already shaved’—skip that too. Third line—forget it, can’t solve it, move on…”
The cameraman deadpanned: “At this rate, you’re skipping every line.”
Producer: “…Shut up.”
The password was clearly written right below, ready to be entered, but if they typed it without solving the riddle first, they’d get electrocuted.
Was this supposed to be a challenge for the cast, or just torture for the staff?
The producer almost burst into tears.
At eight o’clock sharp, the apartment door swung open.
Out came Chi Qian, still in her turtle-print pajamas. Her eyes weren’t even fully open yet, face full of sleepiness, as she groped around for the fresh milk in the box by the door.
Then her foot bumped into two bodies.
It was the producer and the cameraman—souls practically floating out of their bodies.
Chi Qian forced one eye open and muttered, “Why are you two lying here? Weren’t you supposed to rush in for a surprise shoot?”
The producer’s voice trembled, “Little Qian, no, Sister Qian, do you think we didn’t want to go in?”
“We’ve worked together for two episodes now. How could you be so cruel as to threaten us with an electric shock trap!”
Chi Qian twisted open the milk cap, drank a gulp, then casually said, “Oh, that? It’s fake.”
The producer froze. “…Fake?”
Chi Qian yawned, “Yeah, you could’ve just entered the password directly. That riddle was just a decoy.”
[HAHAHAHA someone help me—sister Qian is out here running password scams!]
[I racked my brain bald trying to solve it, and it turns out to be this!]
[Producer: I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you!]
