Chapter 99
In Xiao Jingxi’s view, Xu Shuangrong’s acting skills were better than Xie Mi’s, and her understanding of the role was also deeper. The female lead was undoubtedly Xu Shuangrong’s.
But out of his so-called “benevolence,” he gave Xie Mi a chance to compete. This, he thought, was Xie Mi’s honor.
Naturally, Xie Mi should be grateful.
Yet Xie Mi actually said, “Acting as a couple with you? Wouldn’t that mean I have no shame?”
“That’s humiliating, soldering iron.”
Xiao Jingxi’s face instantly darkened.
“Pfft—”
Shen Yanqing’s lips curved, his eyes openly filled with amusement. “No wonder Teacher Xie is so quick-witted—never takes the bait.”
This time, even the others couldn’t hold back their laughter.
These two mouths—each sharper than the other.
“Xie Mi, I’m helping you. Don’t be ungrateful!” Xiao Jingxi was furious and embarrassed.
But Xie Mi didn’t give him an inch.
“Isn’t it possible that me wanting to act with you would be helping me? If I don’t want to act with you, that’s just messing things up.”
“Did I ever say I wanted to play the heroine? I want to play the maid, thank you.”
To prove her determination to play the maid, Xie Mi suddenly leapt up and bellowed:
“With a thunderous boom, this old servant makes her dazzling entrance!”
Xu Shuangrong, standing beside her, was so startled she shivered.
[Such a powerful, full-of-energy maid]
[Makes sense—she never said she wanted to act the heroine. You forcing it on her is just stirring trouble.]
[It’s obvious Old Xie really wants to play the maid. The yearning is written all over her face.]
[I think she knows she can’t beat Shuangrong, so she’s saving face by saying this on purpose.]
[Huh? Xie Mi? Afraid of losing face? You’re telling me Xie Mi is afraid of losing face?]
[Monkey splashing in water, zombie crawling out of a grave, three steel forks sticking out of her head, South Sea native cosplay makeup… go ahead, say again that Xie Mi’s afraid of embarrassment?]
[…]
Nope. Can’t slander her with that.
And so the roles were set without dispute.
Xiao Jingxi as the Crown Prince, Xu Shuangrong as the heroine knight, Yu Jinzhe as the page, and Xie Mi as the maid.
Shen Yanqing played a rich merchant, Liu Woxing the legitimate daughter, Qiu Chengye the Emperor, and Lai Bingxuan the Empress.
Everyone received their own script.
Looking down at the mere two pages in her hand, Xie Mi broke into a satisfied smile.
She had chosen the right role.
With roles settled, rehearsals officially began.
The production team rented them a rehearsal hall twenty minutes from the villa, very convenient.
Because her scenes were minimal, Xie Mi’s rehearsal schedule went like this:
When Xiao Jingxi and Xu Shuangrong were weeping their hearts out on stage, she was slacking off backstage.
When Qiu Chengye slapped Xiao Jingxi furiously on stage, she was slacking off backstage.
When Shen Yanqing and Liu Woxing schemed against each other on stage, she was slacking off backstage.
Seeing her so idle, Xu Shuangrong smiled politely and said:
“Teacher Xie, you really earn your pay easily. It’s like you’ve done nothing at all and still get paid.”
To this, Xie Mi only shook her head mysteriously.
“Work is trading labor for money. But slacking off—that’s the real way to make money.”
Xu Shuangrong’s smile froze. “?”
Xie Mi pressed her palms together with deep reverence.
“A person who enjoys slacking off can’t be too bad at heart. That’s my moral code—welcome to the Way of Slack.”
Xu Shuangrong couldn’t smile anymore.
What the hell kind of evil cult is this.
[Well said. If someone doesn’t even like slacking, pretends not to care about it, always working eagerly and dragging everyone else into competition—chances are, they support 996 work culture.]
[Having a slacking buddy at work is crucial. They pop up right at clock-in, disappear right at 6 PM—truly the Cinderella of our era.]
[When no one’s chatting in the group today, I instantly know—it’s the weekend.]
[The Way of Slack will endure 🙏]
[Enough already, you lunatics!]
After plenty of slacking, it was finally Xie Mi’s turn to act.
Because the maid had so few lines, most of her script was just vague directions—leaving the rest for Xie Mi to improvise.
For example, this scene:
The heroine Xiao Yang, no longer disguised as a knight, was actually an unloved illegitimate daughter of the General’s mansion.
She learns in advance that the Crown Prince will be in danger tonight. She wants to save him but fears exposing her identity, worried he’ll despise her once he knows the truth.
Thus, Xiao Yang is torn with hesitation.
Maid: (Comfort Xiao Yang—improvise here)
Rehearsal begins—
Xu Shuangrong, full of sorrow, turned to her maid for help.
“Lian’er, tell me… if a man suddenly stops loving you, or suddenly dies, which would you rather accept?”
Xie Mi replied, “As long as he doesn’t suddenly get rich, I can accept anything.”
Xu Shuangrong: “?”
Another example:
Xiao Yang, grounded, attempts to sneak out at night to meet the Crown Prince.
Maid: (Stop Xiao Yang—improvise here)
Rehearsal begins—
Xu Shuangrong declared firmly: “Lian’er, it’s useless to stop me. I must see the Crown Prince tonight!”
Xie Mi sighed helplessly, “Yare yare… unstoppable illegitimate young lady.”
Xu Shuangrong: “?”
And another example:
Xiao Yang and the Crown Prince argue in the rain, their misunderstandings growing deeper, neither willing to explain.
Maid: (Break them up—improvise here)
Rehearsal begins—
Xiao Jingxi roared angrily:
“Xiao Yang, why are you so vicious? You pushed your sister into the water! You clearly love me but meet with other men! The day I was injured, you didn’t even care if I lived or died!”
Xu Shuangrong cried bitterly:
“So what if you say so? Didn’t you agree to marry my sister? On the day of our tryst you never showed up. You even said you hated domineering women like me the most!”
Xiao Jingxi shouted: “If you say so, then so be it!”
At that moment, Xie Mi slid in on her knees and wailed:
“Your Highness, you’re mistaken! My lady didn’t push the legitimate miss—she jumped in herself! My lady didn’t cheat—it was the Emperor who threatened her! The day you were injured, she didn’t abandon you—she was locked up by the master! Miss, you misunderstood too—the Crown Prince was forced to be engaged, he doesn’t like your sister! The Crown Prince didn’t show up that day because the Emperor had him stopped! Those harsh words he said were just him being jealous!”
“You’ve both misunderstood!!”
Xiao Jingxi and Xu Shuangrong: “?”
The audience, who had been tormented by the angst: [?]
[Alright, alright, so this is how you’re gonna play it.]
[Good news: finally, she speaks. Bad news: she speaks too much.]
[If every tragic romance had a maid like this, they’d never make it past twenty episodes.]
[I laughed so hard I scratched my own butt.]
Shen Yanqing was already rolling on the floor with laughter. The others were also holding back with difficulty.
Even the staff couldn’t help bursting out laughing from time to time.
Finally, Xiao Jingxi realized how serious the problem was.
After flipping through Xie Mi’s two pages filled with her improvised lines, he decisively rewrote her character.
And so, Xie Mi received a revised script:
When Xiao Yang is sad, the mute maid uses sign language to comfort her.
When Xiao Yang sneaks out, the mute maid uses sign language to stop her.
When Xiao Yang and the Crown Prince argue, the mute maid uses sign language to mediate.
Bad news: The maid can’t speak anymore.
Good news: The maid is now a ninja.
