Chapter 261: Rice Bucket, Be My Sworn Bro
She sent the shadow flying to the ground with a single kick. Clutching his stomach, he immediately started cursing, “Li Yunduo, you little rice bucket—how dare you kick me! And that hard!”
“Seventeen?” Nan Xun cried out in surprise. She quickly lifted the lantern, and sure enough, she saw Gong Seventeen’s face, flushed red in the candlelight.
Gong Seventeen scrambled up from the ground and shot her an annoyed glare. “I thought a thief had snuck into the small kitchen. Turns out it’s you, you little rice bucket. I saw you carrying so much food into the main hall today—chicken, duck, fish, meat, everything. And now, just this long later, you’re starving like a ghost again? Getting up in the middle of the night to cook—only you could think of that!”
Nan Xun yawned, kept feeding dry firewood into the stove, and replied listlessly, “Didn’t you say it yourself? I’m a rice bucket. How could that little bit of food ever be enough?”
Gong Seventeen’s voice shot up. “That’s ‘a little bit’? That was enough to feed five grown men! I’ve never seen a woman who can eat more than you! When your parents realized you were a rice bucket, why didn’t they just throw you away?”
Nan Xun’s movements paused slightly. She replied flatly, “My parents died when I was very young. They were killed by bandits. I watched it happen with my own eyes while I hid uselessly in a pile of grass and survived. So now, I have no family.”
Gong Seventeen opened his mouth, regret flashing through his eyes.
“…Hey, little rice bucket. Since you called me Seventeen-ge earlier, from now on I’ll be your sworn big brother. As long as I’m around, I won’t let anyone bully you.”
Nan Xun glanced at him and said “Oh,” then added, “Thanks, big brother. But I woke up because I was hungry—what about you? Don’t tell me you’re sneaking around doing something shady in the middle of the night?”
Gong Seventeen froze, then curled his lips. “This young master just couldn’t sleep, so I came out for a walk.”
After a pause, he hesitated and asked, “Little rice bucket, I heard that at the last palace banquet, Princess Yao pushed you into the water, and His Excellency personally pulled you out? And later… he even carried you back? That… are those rumors true?”
Nan Xun stirred the big pot of mixed stew and casually replied, “Most of it is true. One sentence is false.”
Gong Seventeen let out an “Ah,” his eyes lighting up. “Which part’s false? Don’t tell me it’s the part about His Excellency carrying you back. I knew it—that’s impossible. Who do you think you are? How could His Excellency possibly carry you all the way back?”
Nan Xun turned to look at him and smiled so widely her eyes nearly disappeared. “The false part is that Princess Yao pushed me into the water. Not the one you’re talking about~”
Gong Seventeen choked, instantly speechless.
Nan Xun explained, “Princess Yao tried to frame me by saying I pushed her, so I played along and let her push me instead. She’s still inside the hall copying the Admonitions for Women right now. Serves her right.”
Gong Seventeen replied without much interest, “Oh. So His Excellency really did carry you back?”
“Yep.”
“Not bad, little rice bucket. I thought you were just all talk, but you actually acted on it. His Excellency has broken his own rules again and again for you. Work harder—maybe you’ll really manage to take him down.”
Nan Xun laughed. “You think I can take him down too, right?”
Gong Seventeen rolled his eyes at her. “I was being sarcastic. Didn’t you hear it, you little rice bucket?”
By then, the stew was done. Nan Xun didn’t bother replying. She ladled a small bowl for Gong Seventeen, then poured the rest into a large basin, planning to finish the whole thing herself.
Gong Seventeen stared at his tiny bowl, then at the huge basin in front of her, and his mouth twitched hard.
After eating her fill, Nan Xun said with a beaming smile, “Seventeen, when I successfully take His Excellency down, I’ll treat you to delicacies from land and sea.”
Gong Seventeen scoffed. “Talk after you succeed, little rice bucket. Do you think what I told you last time was a lie? His Excellency doesn’t go near women. If you really manage to make him break his vows, I, Gong Seventeen, will write my name backwards.”
Nan Xun immediately shot back, “Neet-ees Gn’og? Not bad—ugly enough.”
Gong Seventeen: “……”
Their short-lived friendship was sealed by that bet. After eating, Gong Seventeen was ordered by Nan Xun to wash the pots and bowls.
While scrubbing, he cursed nonstop. “Damn girl. I knew you weren’t being nice giving me a bowl—you were waiting for me to do the dishes…”
Once everything was cleaned up, they each went their separate ways.
Full and satisfied, Nan Xun fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow and slept until dawn.
Early in the morning, Little Eight started screeching, “Awooo! Nan Xun! Last night the big boss’s Evil Thought Value dropped by ten points in one go—ten whole points! Heehee… look at how radiant you are. Bet you got thoroughly ‘worked over’ by the big boss last night, huh?”
Nan Xun: “……”
She really wanted to confiscate all of Little Eight’s dirty books. It used to be such a pure little beast.
“No need to explain. I get it. I understand everything,” Little Eight snickered.
Nan Xun replied dryly, “Understand my ass. Nothing happened last night!”
Little Eight shrieked, “Impossible! If nothing happened, how could the big boss’s Evil Thought Value drop by ten points all at once?”
Nan Xun snorted. “It is a lot. I was surprised too.”
“No demon wrestling at all?” Little Eight still didn’t quite believe it.
“None. Other than accidentally biting his mouth yesterday, nothing else happened. The reason I look so refreshed today is because I got up at midnight and had a big meal.”
Little Eight grew annoyed. “Damn it. I even delayed turning my five senses back on because I was afraid of disturbing your morning exercise. Turns out not only was there no morning exercise—there wasn’t even any night exercise.”
But soon, Little Eight fell into deep thought.
If just an accidental kiss could make the big boss drop that much Evil Thought Value, then when things really got steamy… heehee.
It suddenly discovered a little secret: the longer a big boss had been abstinent, the more his Evil Thought Value dropped from something as small as holding hands or kissing.
Little Eight immediately began searching through the countless worlds it had observed and found loads of abstinent big bosses. The more it thought about it, the more excited it got—it could hardly wait to take Nan Xun to the next world.
Hundreds or thousands of years of abstinence—so many candidates right here~~
Ahem, calm down, calm down. First, finish off this world’s big boss. His Evil Thought Value was still at 67—there was plenty of time.
After getting up, Nan Xun noticed the inner hall doors were tightly shut. She frowned slightly and asked Little Eight, “Is the big boss still sleeping?”
Little Eight replied, “Wait, I’ll check.”
“He’s still asleep. Honestly, the two of you look like you’ve drained each other dry—can’t blame me for overthinking.”
Nan Xun: “……”
