Chapter 92: Mm, Girl, You’re Really Amazing
Five minutes later, the bowl of talisman water Su Keke was holding no longer had any paper ash in it. It looked like it might not be quite so hard to swallow anymore.
But—
Luo Man asked the key question in one shot: “Keke, can you explain the principle behind doing it like this?”
“Of course.” Su Keke explained, “There are many kinds of talismans, and their purposes and methods vary. Generally, there are eight ways to use them: burn, wear, paste, ingest, boil, rub, spray, and apply.
“For example, blessings like peace talismans and protection charms, and also harmony talismans like marriage-fate charms—you just wear those on your body. Some evil-warding talismans, like dispelling-sha talismans, can be used by sticking them directly on. The rest need to be ‘transformed by fire’ first. As for ingesting, boiling, rubbing, spraying, and applying—those methods actually all require burning first, then you proceed to the next step.
“Song Yuan’s filthy qi has been accumulating inside him for a long time without dispersing. Burning the talisman first, then steeping it with boiling water for him to drink—the spiritual qi on the talisman will dissolve into the talisman water. This is the fastest, and also the most practical, compromise.”
Even though Su Keke made it sound quite convincing, Song Yuan still snorted and said, “If talisman water can really cure illness, why are there cases of people dying from drinking talisman water?”
Su Keke frowned. “I’ve heard that case my master talked about. What killed them wasn’t the witch’s talisman water—it was refusing medical treatment and delaying the illness until it got worse.
“But Song Yuan, your situation isn’t the same as what you’re talking about. First: those ‘witches’ weren’t properly initiated. The talismans they drew had no spiritual qi—they were fake talismans—so of course their talisman water couldn’t cure anything. But I am my master’s direct disciple. I would never do something that harms lives and damages my own virtue. Every talisman I draw has spiritual power attached to it.
“Second: you get regular checkups. Other than being weak, there’s nothing physically wrong. Drinking talisman water won’t affect you.
“Third—” Su Keke paused and smiled at him slightly. “Look, I filtered it. It’s very clean.”
Song Yuan: …
Unbelievable—this can even count as a reason!
After listening, Luo Man nodded. “What Keke said makes a lot of sense. Song Yuan, just try it. There’s no downside anyway.”
Qin Xing took the bowl from Su Keke and shoved it straight into his hands. “Song Yuan, why are you fussier than a woman? Hurry up and drink. If anything really happens, I’ll send you to the hospital immediately.”
Song Yuan held the talisman water in his hands, swept his gaze across the others, then—like he’d decided to throw caution to the wind—shut his eyes and gulped down several big mouthfuls.
Aside from a faint taste of burned paper ash, it was… just that.
Song Yuan felt like he’d gone crazy—he actually drank talisman water.
“I drank it, but I don’t feel anything at all. And you still want two hundred thousand from me for this?”
Su Keke looked a little displeased. “Even when you take medicine, it takes a while before it works. If you think your body isn’t worth two hundred thousand, you don’t have to drink it. Besides, one time won’t work anyway—you need at least three times. Consider this first one a freebie.”
Song Yuan fell silent. He’d thought she wouldn’t get angry, but who knew a casual remark would set her off.
Still, wouldn’t anyone doubt it? He thought his temper was already pretty good.
“Then how long before it works?” Song Yuan couldn’t help asking.
“Five minutes.”
“So fast?”
Su Keke grabbed Qin Xing with one hand and Luo Man with the other and pulled them aside.
“Daxing, Manman, let’s stay farther away from him. In a bit he’s going to smell really, really bad. I’m afraid you won’t be able to take it.”
Song Yuan’s eyes widened slightly. “Classmate Su Keke, what do you mean?”
But it didn’t take long for Song Yuan to understand what she meant.
His body started sweating. And along with that sweat came a stench a hundred times worse than ordinary body odor.
It was a smell that was hard to describe—like a hundred of the foulest odors all mixed together, so rancid it made you feel like you couldn’t breathe.
Qin Xing immediately covered her nose. “Holy crap! This is way too stinky!”
Luo Man quietly retreated another step. It really was disgusting.
Song Yuan was nearly about to be stunk unconscious by his own smell. A layer of black sludge slowly formed on the surface of his skin, making him look dirtier and stinkier than a beggar.
Su Keke, however, looked completely unsurprised. “The cleansing spiritual qi hidden in the talisman water is working. It’s expelling the filthy qi and toxins in Classmate Song Yuan’s body. These filthy qi and toxins are the result of years and years of accumulation. Now that they’re being forced out all at once, of course it’ll stink.”
Song Yuan, who was so disgusted by the stench he wanted to throw up, finally truly believed it. Even his tone became much more polite. “Classmate Su Keke, then how long will this process last?”
“Anywhere from ten-plus minutes to half an hour. If you want to speed it up, you can do some intense exercise to increase sweating and excretion.”
Seeing the disgusted looks on their faces, Song Yuan rushed into the bathroom in embarrassment. In the bathroom he started doing high-knees in place—several times he almost fainted from the smell.
Outside, the three of them sat on the sofa, waiting and chatting.
Qin Xing and Luo Man once again witnessed Master Su Keke’s abilities. This time it was even more surreal than the witch-curse incident.
Qin Xing sighed. “This is my first time seeing talisman water actually cure someone. Manman, I think my worldview might need to be rebuilt.”
Luo Man pressed a hand to her forehead. “You think I’m seeing it for the second time?”
Suddenly, a text message notification chimed like “a small bridge and flowing water.” Su Keke quickly said, “Wait a second—I’ll check a message.”
This was the special tone Su Keke had set specifically for her uncle. Anyone else’s messages could wait; Uncle’s couldn’t.
—Girl, at a classmate’s house? I have a meeting tonight. I’ll be back later.
Su Keke immediately replied: Yes, Uncle. I’m at Classmate Song Yuan’s place, treating him, hehe. I’m about to earn 200,000! (＾o＾)／~
Qin Mochen replied quickly: Mm. My girl is really great.
Su Keke’s eyes instantly curved into crescents.
She’d told Uncle to praise her more, and sure enough, he praised her more.
All of a sudden, she felt Uncle was really cute.
At this moment, Song Yuan was doing high-intensity exercise in the bathroom, and the entire bathroom was filled with that indescribable stench.
When it was about time, he hurriedly turned on the shower to rinse.
It took a full twenty minutes before Song Yuan finally washed off that layer of foul black sludge. He felt so good it was like ascending to heaven.
He used to always feel his head heavy and muddled. Now, it was as if his head suddenly became several pounds lighter. His body also became much more nimble, and he felt bursting with energy—this feeling was so damn amazing!
After getting dressed and going out, Song Yuan looked at Su Keke with the kind of worship you’d reserve for some hidden master. “Classmate Su Keke, shall we discuss what happens next?”
After what just happened, Song Yuan declared he was willing to pay one million for Su Keke’s next rounds of talisman water.
“No need. We agreed on two hundred thousand, so it’s two hundred thousand. Give me all your savings—that’s sincere enough.”
Su Keke took money the right way. Song Yuan only had two hundred thousand, so she would only take two hundred thousand.
