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The Fake Heiress Tears Up the Script and Goes Full Slacker Mode – CH9

If You’re Crippled, I’ll Send You to the Hospital. If You’re Dead, It’s On Me

Chapter 9: If You’re Crippled, I’ll Send You to the Hospital. If You’re Dead, It’s On Me

When the rain stopped—The homeroom teacher finally found the bedraggled group of students huddled in the cave.

Their parents, who had rushed over upon hearing the news, were horrified at their children’s state. One after another, they began scolding the teacher for failing to look after them.

“Dad, Mom, this is all Chi Qian’s fault! She insisted on going deeper into the forest. We only followed to find her, and that’s how we ended up like this!”

“We even ran into a bear and a wolf! Chi Qian threatened us, saying if we dared tell anyone about today, she’d have the wolf tear us apart!”

“Look at these wounds on me—every last one of them is thanks to Chi Qian!”

“My leg hurts so much… It’s all because of that jinx, Chi Qian!”

One after another, the dozen or so students all pushed the blame onto her, exaggerating her “crimes” with every word.

The truth was, they had all schemed together. If the school investigated, every one of them would be held accountable.

But since they had the numbers, as long as they twisted the story, the blame would never fall on them.

Chi Qian stretched lazily as she stepped out of her cave, listening to their righteous accusations—and burst into laughter.

“Chi Qian, how can you still laugh!” The homeroom teacher glared at her, face dark. “You dragged so many students into the restricted red-line area of the forest—were you trying to get them all killed? To put it bluntly, this is attempted murder!”

Chi Qian had always had good grades, and the teacher had liked her. But this time, even he couldn’t protect her.

Other parents started shouting one after another:

“A student like this—if she stays at Lingshui, can the school guarantee our children’s safety?”

“Isn’t this the Gu family’s fake daughter? Didn’t they already announce they kicked her out? And now she still thinks she deserves to study with my son?”

“She must be expelled and made to apologize, or we will not let this matter go!”

“Call her parents here to take this pauper away—don’t let her harm others!”

Chi Qian stood alone against them all. It should have been an overwhelming situation.

Yet there she was, standing at the cave entrance, backlit by the morning sun. Her face was still youthful and delicate, expression calm and detached. Though small in stature, somehow she carried the air of one person holding back the weight of thousands.

Some parents even felt a strange, invisible pressure.

It had to be an illusion. She was nothing more than a penniless, powerless little girl.

“I am Chi Qian’s guardian. Who was looking for me?”

A voice rolled from behind them, heavy and imposing, like a mountain pressing down on everyone’s chest.

Bodyguards in black shoved the crowd aside, forcing open a path.

Then came Chi Lisen, dressed in a loose ash-gray Tang suit, every step radiating the authority of someone long used to command. The scar at the corner of his brow made his aura even sharper, more ruthless.

The place fell into dead silence.

Chi… Chi Lisen!

The number-one tycoon!

The living legend written into university case studies, the ruthless King of Hell of the business world!

What was he doing here?!

“Grandpa.” Chi Qian’s eyes widened—she never expected her always-busy grandfather to appear in person.

When the parents heard her call him grandfather, shock rippled across their faces.

“C-Chairman Chi, this student Chi Qian, she’s your…”

“Chi Qian is my granddaughter,” Chi Lisen said flatly. “When I heard she went missing on a field trip, I dropped everything to come. Didn’t expect to walk straight into this circus.”

The lead parent tried to salvage the moment, stammering: “C-Chi Chairman, the children all said it was Chi Qian who led them into the forest and got them hurt…”

“So a dozen children were all led around by one little girl? What, did none of them grow a brain? Or are you saying my granddaughter put a knife to every single one of their throats and forced them?” Chi Lisen sneered.

The parents flushed red with embarrassment. They had thought the same, but in their fear for their own kids, they hadn’t cared.

“Everyone, perhaps we should hear Chi Qian’s side,” the homeroom teacher said quickly, sensing the tide turning.

Chi Lisen turned to her. “Speak.”

Chi Qian jumped at the chance to tattle. “Grandpa, they’re the ones who dragged me here, saying they wanted to go exploring. But once we got here, they turned on me, saying a poor thing like me wasn’t worthy to be their classmate, that I should disappear. Then a bear showed up, and everyone ran. He Fangzhi even shoved me toward the bear! If that’s not trying to kill me, then what is? I’m just one person—how could I have overpowered all of them? Their lies don’t even bother with a draft, like pooping without toilet paper!”

The named boy, He Fangzhi, went pale. How dare she expose him publicly—was she really ready to throw away their so-called friendship?!

“You’re lying! Do you have proof?” he shouted.

“Of course I do.” Chi Qian shook her phone with a grin, flashing eight little white teeth. “Didn’t I mention? Yesterday, when you dragged me into the forest, I kept my phone recording the whole time.”

“Don’t think being underage will save you from responsibility. The juvenile detention center is waiting, hee-hee~”

The others involved felt their hearts leap into their throats. Panic hit, tears spilled.

“N-No, it wasn’t me! He Fangzhi threatened us—he made us do it! Normally I don’t even dare step on ants!”

“He said if we didn’t cooperate, he’d have our families’ business deals cut off! It’s all him! And Xu Zhiqing too, he was with him!”

“Buddha, Guanyin, Jesus, anyone, save me—I don’t want to go to juvie!”

The kids who had stood together moments ago now scrambled to betray He Fangzhi and Xu Zhiqing, throwing them both under the bus.

They were guilty, yes, but compared to the masterminds, their blame would be lighter.

In front of self-interest, there are no permanent friends.

And Chi Qian had counted on exactly that.

“You’re all talking nonsense! My son Fangzhi would never!” the He family cried, faces flushed with shame.

The Xu family: “You’re only saying this because Chairman Chi is here! Our Zhiqing is the most well-behaved, he’d never do such a thing!”

Chi Lisen’s icy gaze swept over both families. “The He family. The Xu family. Very good.”

Father He’s knees nearly gave out. “Chairman Chi, they’re just children, fooling around… please, show mercy…”

Chi Lisen cut him off coldly. “My Chi Qian is also a child. But she is worth more than all your children put together.

“I won’t let this slide. Every debt will be collected, one by one.”

With that, he told Chi Qian to follow, and they left together.

Looking at her grandfather’s tall, broad back, Chi Qian suddenly felt this thigh she was hugging… was really the safest place in the world.

If it had been the Gu family, they wouldn’t even have shown up today.

“Thank you, Grandpa.”

Chi Lisen glanced at the silly girl. “My granddaughter is not someone for outsiders to bully. Next time something like this happens—hit back. If they end up in the hospital, so be it. If they die, I’ll take care of it.”


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The Fake Heiress Tears Up the Script and Goes Full Slacker Mode

The Fake Heiress Tears Up the Script and Goes Full Slacker Mode

假千金手撕剧本,沙雕摆烂躺麻了
Score 9.6
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2023 Native Language: Chinese
[Entertainment industry + silly memes + family favoritism + wild imagination + gossip + unhinged heroine] Chi Qian failed her heavenly tribulation and returned to the real world, only to discover that she was actually the villainous fake daughter in a novel! The plot had already reached the point where the real daughter returned home, and Chi Qian was about to be kicked out of the family. Broken engagement, whole-network smear campaign, tragic ending—three strikes were lined up against her. Chi Qian kicked the damned script away. She wasn’t playing along! Rather than suffering herself, why not torment others instead? On a survival variety show, while everyone else struggled to live, she lounged around eating snacks with wolfberries in her Coke-filled thermos. The newly popular male idol preached motivational slogans: “As long as you work hard, you can change everything!” Chi Qian: “But kidney deficiency won’t change, and neither will bad breath. You should get treatment.” The sweet ingénue actress cooed: “I’ve never been in a relationship before~” Chi Qian: “You can’t hide it when you like someone. Even if you hide in a closet, his wife will still find you.” The real daughter, the female lead, sighed: “I envy how straightforward Chi Qian is. I’m always too polite.” Chi Qian: “You’re insane. Someone farts and you catch it with your mouth. You can hold more than a trash bag.” Unexpectedly, the more Chi Qian went off the rails, the more fans she gained! Fans: “Her madness has a reckless beauty to it.” At first, Chi Qian thought the Chi family was just an ordinary family. Her salaried uncle said: “Your second uncle runs a shop, third uncle does bit parts in films, fourth uncle digs wild vegetables abroad, fifth uncle screws bolts in a factory.” In reality… Shocking, right?! Chi Qian: So many powerful backers, which thigh should I cling to today?

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