Chapter 83: Wait, Are They Really This Good?
To agent Brother Zhao, they didn’t look like acting corpses at all. They looked like actual corpses.
He was panicking. If filming hadn’t already started, he would’ve gone to check their breathing.
The scene was set in an imperial court, with lots of background actors and multiple takes.
Chi Qian and Chi Fengxiao slept through the entire morning.
Brother Zhao was terrified, half-afraid they’d stop breathing for real.
Fortunately, they’d disguised themselves well. With makeup on top, they were completely unrecognizable—no one knew the set had just gained two big bosses lying there as extras.
If word got out… people would think this uncle-niece pair had lost their minds.
The crew, on the other hand, thought these two “corpses” were the most professional and tireless background actors ever. They lay perfectly still for hours without complaint!
What sheer willpower!
What model extras!
…Wait, what if they really had died?!
When filming wrapped, the staff even slipped them a bonus red packet—just to make sure they left quickly.
The crew next door nearly called the police.
Chi Qian was delighted. “Uncle, thank goodness you’re an actor. Otherwise, where could I find a job where you get paid for sleeping?”
Chi Fengxiao yawned. “Now you see your uncle’s genius? I’m telling you, compared to extras, even Best Actors and top idols aren’t worth it. Exhausting themselves for big money, while we lie down, enjoy ourselves, and don’t even lose hair.”
Chi Qian was deeply moved. “Uncle, I’ve decided—no more treatment, I’ll join you as a professional corpse.”
To lie down and earn money—that was the salted fish dream of a lifetime.
“Atta girl! My niece truly has ambition! You’ll be the brightest star of the extra world!” praised Chi Fengxiao.
“Hehe~”
Behind them, Brother Zhao: “……”
If Chairman Chi ever heard this, both their legs wouldn’t be enough to break.
The uncle-niece duo happily took their half-day pay and went on a food spree.
In the afternoon, they returned to the set to be corpses again. After another nap, they collected their wages, left, and feasted again.
By the end of the day, every penny they earned was spent.
Arm in arm, they headed to Linjiang Food Street, planning to splurge with the 200 yuan they’d just scratched off a lottery ticket.
But at the entrance, by the greenery, a commotion broke out.
An animal transport truck had stopped there, and the staff were shouting anxiously into their phones—
“Yeah, don’t know how the lock got pried open, but they all escaped!”
“They’re too vicious—we can’t handle them!”
“You have no idea how savage they are. The keepers have been injured so many times already!”
Amid the shouting, a piercing scream split the air.
A gray-brown kangaroo suddenly leapt out of the shrubbery, scaring a passerby so badly he fell to the ground and scrambled back.
Then, one after another, kangaroos poked their heads out of the greenery.
Each one was wild—kicking pedestrians, slapping street signs, snatching ice creams straight from kids’ hands before bolting.
Panic spread. People ran in every direction, terrified of being targeted by the beasts.
Some children couldn’t run fast enough—one went splat on the pavement and wailed at the top of his lungs.
Just then, Chi Qian happened to walk by. Bad luck—one kangaroo barreled straight into her, knocking the candied hawthorn skewer out of her hand.
Her uncle had just bought that for her! She’d only taken one bite!
Chi Fengxiao swore he could see flames shooting up three feet high from behind her. Even his own candied hawthorn got stuck halfway down his throat.
“Qian Qian?”
“Uncle, give me a sec.”
Chi Qian rolled up her sleeves, marched forward, and grabbed the troublemaker kangaroo by the scruff like it was nothing, lifting it clean off the ground.
The crying child hiccupped mid-sob, stunned.
The kangaroo blinked its wet eyes at Chi Qian, playing the picture of innocence.
“Do you have any idea how expensive candied hawthorn is?” Chi Qian scolded, face stern.
The kangaroo wiggled its ears, playing cute: Squee? I’m not bad! I’m just a poor, helpless kangaroo!
“One skewer costs twenty yuan!” Chi Qian’s heart ached. “You freeloaders never know the misery of inflation. A creature like you should be thrown into forced labor—work a hundred years to pay off your debt!”
The kangaroo froze, paws together, staring pitifully at her.
Then it spun around, dashed off, and came back lugging an entire candied hawthorn tree, plopping it in front of her.
Its eyes said it all: See? I’ll pay you back. Don’t be mad, please QWQ.
Behind them, the fat candied-hawthorn vendor couldn’t keep up, yelling from a distance: “Kangaroo robbery!”
Chi Qian: “……”
Chi Fengxiao pointed quickly: “Qian Qian, the zoo’s transport truck is over there.”
If he didn’t intervene, the dumb beast would probably rob a jewelry store next to appease her. And was animal armed robbery even in the penal code?
Chi Qian nodded, returned the “tree” to its rightful owner, and then—under the wide-eyed stares of panicked bystanders—marched over to the truck carrying the kangaroo by the scruff like a naughty puppy and tossed it inside.
The kangaroo squealed, trying to hop back out.
Hands on hips, she ordered, “Inside.”
The same kangaroo that had been terrorizing kids and slugging adults moments ago drooped its head and obediently shuffled in.
Chi Qian turned, spotted a big kangaroo cowering behind a tree.
“And where are your other accomplices?”
“Skree~” The big kangaroo hopped over, scooped her up onto its back, and bounded away.
Clear message: I’ll take you to them—no one left behind!
The kangaroo bolted down the street with Chi Qian riding it.
Bystanders: “Holy sh*t!”
Chi Fengxiao’s candied hawthorn fell to the ground with a plop. “Wait—thief! Bring back my precious niece!”
He sprinted after them.
A few minutes later, the kangaroo came bounding back with Chi Qian still perched on its back. Behind them marched a neat line of kangaroos, all well-behaved, no one daring to stray. Even when they passed pedestrians they usually would’ve kicked, they resisted the urge.
Chi Fengxiao jogged alongside, jealous of his niece’s free ride. If he tried to hop on, though, a single kick would probably launch him into orbit.
One child pointed, shouting, “Mom! Look, it’s the Kangaroo Princess!”
All the kangaroos turned their heads toward him.
His mother quickly covered his mouth. “Shhh! Quiet, or they’ll beat us up.”
When they reached the truck, the kangaroos queued up. Under Chi Qian’s unblinking stare, they scooted their butts in one by one.
The last one even pulled the truck door shut behind them.
The battered pedestrians: ???
Seriously? That smart??
So they’d just been bullying the weak earlier, but the moment they hit a tough opponent—they surrendered??
The staff rushed over to thank Chi Qian and compensate her for the damages.
They explained the kangaroos were supposed to be relocated to the wild. If anything went wrong and caused a public incident, the consequences would’ve been unimaginable.
Chi Qian, happy to have money for another candied hawthorn, was easy to appease. “By the way, the lock was pried open by some curly-haired guy with a scruffy beard. You’d better watch out.”
The staff: “How do you know that?”
“Last night, the kangaroos’ ancestors came to me in a dream. They asked me to wait here and discipline their unfilial descendants.” Chi Qian spun the tale without blinking.
The staff stared, dumbfounded, about to press further—when suddenly the truck door banged open again.
Chi Qian turned her head—only to have something shoved right into her face.
She blinked.
