Chapter 82: You Have Been Kicked From the Group Chat
Chi Lisen sneered. “I knew it. Hand over all the junk you’ve stashed in your bag.”
“I didn’t stash junk,” Chi Qian protested stubbornly. “These are my spiritual support!”
“Oh?”
Pitifully, she opened her bag and started pulling things out one by one.
“And the ones hidden inside your wallet.”
“……”
“And don’t think I don’t know about the hole you carved out in that notebook to hide things. Flip it open.”
“QAQ.”
Every extra grandpa in the world meant one less child free to love snacks.
Her suffering knew no bounds.
In the end, a small mountain of snacks was dumped out of Chi Qian’s bag.
Nobody knew how she had even managed to stuff so much in there.
Even Chi Lisen, usually stone-faced, was at a rare loss for words. He swept everything into a drawer.
He had long said kids this age were rebellious.
The more you forbid them, the more excited they got.
“Have you finished the summer homework I assigned?” he asked.
Chi Qian sulkily nodded, secretly relieved that her stash of spicy strips hidden in the “Little Black Nest” hadn’t been discovered.
At least one survived.
This round—she won.
Watching her pout protectively, Chi Lisen gave a rare chuckle. “Isn’t your birthday coming up soon?”
“Mine?” Chi Qian blinked. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t even know your own birthday?”
“Old Man Gu said kids shouldn’t celebrate too openly, or it’d bring bad luck. At first, they’d at least make me a bowl of noodles. Later, they just forgot entirely.”
She remembered once buying herself a cake, thinking: fine, if you won’t celebrate for me, I’ll celebrate myself.
But the Gu family threw a fit like rats on fire, accusing her of blaming them on purpose, then tossed her cake away.
She’d been furious—didn’t even get a single bite!
Who wastes food like that?!
To Chi Qian, this was already “normal.”
But for Chi Lisen, this was the first time hearing it.
He had known her life in the Gu family wasn’t good. She had a “young miss” title but lived worse than ordinary kids.
He hadn’t expected the Gu family to treat her this badly.
Chi Lisen’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Grandpa will get this debt settled for you. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“Eh?”
“Now, about your birthday. How do you want it celebrated?”
“Of course, a huge party! A grand spectacle!” Chi Qian blurted. “Let the suona blow, the whole village waits for the feast!”
Chi Lisen: “?”
Chi Qian realized belatedly they were talking birthdays, not funerals. She quickly corrected, “No, no, what I mean is—I can decide, right?”
“Mm.”
“Then I want it at my wishing pool!”
Chi Lisen raised a brow. “Why there?”
“Because my wishing pool hasn’t had any income for days! I want to cash in on the opportunity!”
“…Why not just strap on a turtle shell and lie in it? Do nothing, wait for people to feed you coins.”
Chi Qian’s eyes sparkled. “Grandpa, you’re a genius! Why didn’t I think of such an easy money-making scheme? When can I start? Is it too late to buy a shell now?”
And so, Chi Lisen kicked her out.
A while later, he created a family group chat.
He left Chi Qian out for now, and excluded his two sons abroad.
[C: Little Baby’s birthday is coming. Thoughts on the birthday party?]
At first, everyone else was confused.
Little Baby?
Then they realized—ah, the youngest in the family… Chi Qian!
[Local #1 Handsome Guy: What? Qian Qian’s birthday? Old man, why didn’t you say earlier? When is it?]
[Chi Muze: This Saturday. You don’t even know, and you call yourself her favorite uncle?]
[Local #1 Handsome Guy: Big bro, I’m not the only one who didn’t know. Ask Second Bro.]
[Buys Only A Few Antiques: I know. I saw it in Chi Qian’s medical records.]
[Local #1 Handsome Guy: …So you all knew and left me out? Jealous because I’m her favorite?]
[C: Heh.]
[Chi Muze: Heh.]
[Buys Only A Few Antiques: Hehe.]
Chi Fengxiao: …
Everyone ignored him and went straight back to discussing the scale and form of the birthday banquet.
After all, this would be Chi Qian’s first birthday since returning to the Chi family. The meaning was different; it had to be taken seriously.
Besides—
[C: Muze, once Little Baby’s birthday is over, it’s time to close the net.]
[Chi Muze: I know. I’ve been preparing.]
[Buys Only A Few Antiques: Progress is slow, but at least it won’t ruin Chi Qian’s happy birthday mood.]
[Local #1 Handsome Guy: Wait wait, what? What kind of riddles are you guys spouting?]
Nobody replied.
A moment later, Chi Fengxiao saw the notification: You have been kicked from the group chat.
Chi Fengxiao: ???
Really? All jealous, ganging up on him??
He immediately opened his private chat with Chi Qian: Qian Qian, tell me honestly—am I your favorite uncle?
He was ready to screenshot her answer and shove it in the others’ faces.
Chi Qian: No money, no talk.
Chi Fengxiao: Come on, with our relationship, bringing up money just hurts the feelings!
Chi Qian: But bringing up feelings hurts the money. [cat-disdain.jpg]
And then she received a red packet from Chi Fengxiao.
She opened it—ten yuan.
Even stingier than last time.
Chi Qian: Uncle, with this little money, it’s hard for me to help you out, you know.
Chi Fengxiao: You took the money, you do the job. Otherwise, refund it!
Chi Qian: Fine. Uncle, you’re my favorite uncle. (This line costs 0.5 yuan. Remember to delete the words in parentheses.)
Chi Fengxiao: …
She really ran her “paid comment” business like a pro.
Then Chi Qian asked what usually happened at birthday banquets.
Chi Fengxiao: Just a family meal, gifts, red packets, and then you perform a talent or something.
Chi Qian: But I don’t have any talent.
Chi Fengxiao: Any instruments?
Chi Qian: I’m great at beating the retreat drum. （Beating the retreat drum – Chinese idiom that means to give up or back out.）
Chi Fengxiao: ?? Nothing else? Like calligraphy, chess, painting, music?
Chi Qian: Nope. But I’m better than those people, in a way.
Chi Fengxiao: How?
Chi Qian: I can eat anything they cook.
Chi Fengxiao: …Give it up, foodie.
Chi Qian ignored him after that. What she wanted was something easy, no need to memorize, no effort, just something to get by with at the banquet.
Best if it could be picked up instantly.
That was already the biggest concession a salted fish could make.
In the end—she really found an instrument that felt custom-made for her!
*
Chi Qian was kicked out of the manor.
Well, “kicked out” wasn’t accurate. The villa was suddenly being re-tiled, so Chi Lisen told her to stay at whichever uncle’s house she wanted for a few days, to “trouble” them instead.
Could Chi Qian let such an opportunity slip? Absolutely not!
Without hesitation, she chose her Third Uncle’s place.
Chi Fengxiao was still living in his shabby little apartment, clinging desperately to his “struggling artist” persona.
Last night he had insomnia again. With no jobs today, he decided to go to a set and play a corpse—catch up on sleep.
When Chi Qian heard of this heavenly gig, how could she not tag along?
So off they went.
After disguising themselves, the uncle and niece arrived at the set. Once their corpse makeup was done—blood at the mouth, faces pale—they each found a spot, lay down…
And promptly “died.”
