Chapter 51: Hurry Up! Ride Me!
Still, some diehards clung stubbornly to those two points.
Chi Qian’s fans were immediately called out—and they rose to the occasion in their own unhinged way:
“First of all, let’s be clear: we stan Qian Qian, and that has nothing to do with whether she’s a good person. On the contrary, the fact that we can stan her already proves we’re not good people either. Since we’re all bad anyway, what right do you have to demand so much from us??”
[Fans mirror their idol. This vibe is on point.]
[What vibe?]
[That crazy, shameless, salty-fish vibe of not giving a damn.]
[Qian Qian, fly free! Turtle shell hard, no fear of being smashed!]
And so, the online storm eventually fizzled out—thanks to Chi Chaoshen’s decisive action, and the bizarre antics of Chi Qian’s fanbase.
As for Chi Qian herself, at the center of it all—she knew nothing.
Chi Fengxiao and Shen Jing were busy discussing how to build a raft.
But that meant construction of their wooden house would have to be delayed.
Hands stuffed into her pockets, Chi Qian muttered, “No need to make it so troublesome. I’ve got an idea.”
Fengxiao looked at her. “Building a raft is tiring. You should rest—we’ll handle it.”
Shen Jing nodded. “Right. You taught us last time. I still remember the steps.”
“Not that,” Chi Qian squatted down and patted the surface of the sea. “I mean, why don’t we just call a ride?”
A ride?
Gu Hua couldn’t help but laugh. Chi Qian’s wild imagination hadn’t changed at all.
What ride could she possibly hail on a deserted island?
A ghost taxi?
“Let’s just get on the boat. If we waste more time, we won’t make it,” Gu Hua said, turning back to her teammates.
One by one, they boarded and left, leaving only Chi Qian and her group at the shore.
Chi Qian stepped into the water and whistled.
One second. Two seconds. Three—
“Chiu~ Chiu-chiu~~”
A burst of noisy chatter echoed from the distance.
Two black-and-white giants suddenly leapt out of the waves, and in a blink, swam up to her.
Seeing the two “giant sea whales” in front of her—tails swishing, looking harmless with smiling lips—Chi Qian fell silent.
Oh no. Did she just hail the sea’s resident street punks, aka killer whales? …Is it too late to cancel the ride?
Orca No.1 cursed, “We came all the way here and you wanna cancel?! No way! Not happening! You must ride us!”
Orca No.2 ranted on, “So pissed off! Haven’t even gotten into a shark brawl today! And yesterday that dumbass orca ran into my tail—damn it, I’m still mad!”
Research shows that when orcas communicate, the conversation is full of swear words—especially “yo mama” content.
Nine out of ten sentences are insulting their teammates.
Common ones include: “Your useless ass can go die!” and “You piece of trash, how are you even my teammate?!”
Chi Qian was utterly shocked—their vocabulary was… actually quite impressive.
Barely a minute had passed, and they’d already trashed every creature in the ocean.
Orca No.1 noticed her staring. “Hmph! Since you’re cute, hurry up! Ride me!”
Its tail wagged wildly.
Chi Qian: …uh, kinda cute.
She patted its head, turned back, and said, “The ride’s here, let’s go.”
Chi Fengxiao and the others: ???
This counts as a ride???
Don’t fool us just ’cause we’re inexperienced!!
And this is a killer whale! The ocean’s king that even humpbacks lose to!
They didn’t dare. QAQ.
But Chi Qian didn’t care—since they came, dare or not, they had to.
Chi Fengxiao saw her climb up, so he had no choice but to risk it too.
Shen Jing and Shen Jiashu followed nervously.
[Am I seeing this right… a killer-whale-shaped taxi??]
[Nope, you’re not mistaken. This thing’s called a killer whale. Right now it’s literally their mount (I’ve lost all sanity).]
[Script?? Who the hell wrote this script?? Give me a version where an orca voluntarily carries me!!]
[I’m losing it. Can anyone explain the logic here??]
Feeding bears, monkeys offering fruit—you can chalk that up to “animals being friendly.”
But orcas? No matter how “friendly” they seem, there has NEVER been a case of one offering humans a ride on its back.
Random viewers lured by trending tags: ??? Wait, is this not the ocean but some massive aquarium??
Another netizen @OceanFactsBot: “If I go to the beach right now and find an orca, will it let me ride on its back?”
OceanFactsBot: “Sweetie, I suggest stopping by a temple first.”
Viewer: “A temple?? Since when do temples handle this??”
Bot: “They don’t, but if you’re lucky, the Bodhisattva might save your life.”
Viewer: …
So the question is—how on earth does Chi Qian pull this off?!
Not long ago, Chi Qian had been under fire online. Aside from busy Chi Lisen, both of her uncles were watching the livestream closely.
They couldn’t figure it out either—why both land and sea creatures were so fond of her.
It was downright baffling.
—Out on the open seas—
The two orcas carried Chi Qian and the others like bulldozers, crashing straight through anything in their way.
They had zero sportsmanship and absolutely no manners.
Perfectly good detours available? Nah.
Instead, they plowed right through schools of fish, tails slapping them into the air to fly alongside seagulls.
Innocent fish: “Mom, I think I’m flying… I think I saw heaven.”
Chi Qian’s group didn’t do a thing, but their clothes ended up stuffed with fainted seafood.
Then came a group of sharks. The orcas charged without hesitation—one word: fight!
Five or six great whites were beaten silly by these two hooligans, fleeing with pitiful looks in their eyes.
Chi Qian patted Orca No.1’s dorsal fin. “Okay, enough. Let them go.”
The orcas actually obeyed, flicking their tails proudly as they swam on.
She glanced back. The sharks hadn’t left, still staring at them.
Uh-oh. Were they plotting revenge?
She really didn’t want to be part of that play.
“Quit playing. We’ve got work to do.”
Orca No.1: “Nooo~ I still wanna play with sis~ Don’t you wanna play with me? Did I do something wrong to make you mad?”
Orca No.2: “Shut up, you fake-ass green tea whale! You reek of tea leaves!”
Orca No.1: “You’re just jealous she rides me and not you~ Heehee, can’t help it if sis loves me most~”
Orca No.2: “Jealous my ass! I could fetch sis some sperm whale poop—she’d like me more. What do you have besides whining?!”
Orca No.1: “Sis doesn’t like smelly poop! She likes me best! Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh~”
Chi Qian thought for a second. …Wait. Isn’t sperm whale poop really valuable?
Still, it’s… poop.
Orca No.2 was so furious it rammed Orca No.1.
If I don’t beat the crap out of you today, then I don’t deserve to be called an orca!
Chi Fengxiao panicked, hugging Chi Qian. “Qian Qian, hold on tight—you’ll fall!”
Shen Jing and Shen Jiashu clung to Orca No.2’s dorsal fin for dear life.
Suddenly, Chi Qian had an idea. “Whoever helps me clean up the trash in the sea first—I’ll like them the most.”
The two orcas: !!!
Then it must be ME!!
