Chapter 112: This Is the Boss They Really Want!
“Aaahhhhhh!!” The screams of the masked men nearly burst eardrums.
Their leader collapsed onto the ground, scrambling desperately on all fours as if the python would devour him if he was a second slower.
But the golden noodle didn’t even glance his way. Its tail—adorned with a rusty red bow and bell—flicked him aside like an annoying bug.
Ding-ling-ling— The bell rang sweet and crisp.
It stopped right in front of Chi Qian.
[Holy crap! That close-up almost killed me!]
[Baby Qian, runnnn!! I can’t watch this!!]
[There’s no way even she can handle something this big, right?]
[Someone knock me out please!!]
The underling carrying Chi Qian rolled his eyes back and fainted dead away.
So Chi Qian had to face the giant golden noodle head-on.
“Am I not pretty?” The snake lifted its head proudly, showing off its intricate golden patterns. The bell on its tail jingled softly.
Though the bell’s surface was already rusted.
When Chi Qian didn’t reply, it slithered closer, “Not pretty?”
“Am I really not pretty?”
Chi Qian was at a loss. Where did this narcissistic giant noodle come from? Has it just been lonely too long without anyone to talk to?
“You look fine. Just… your beauty’s not very obvious,” Chi Qian finally said. “Also, could you back up a bit? I’m timid, okay.”
“You still don’t like me?” The python pouted, bringing its tailtip up close. “Touch it.”
“Huh?”
“Touch it,” the noodle insisted. “Others beg to touch me and I won’t let them. Don’t be ungrateful.”
Chi Qian: …Fine.
She stretched out her little paw and rubbed its tailtip.
Cold, squishy… actually, not bad at all!
From the farthest corner, the researcher girl’s eyes flashed with surprise as she watched.
“Well? Feels good, right?” The golden noodle swayed proudly, its baby voice chirping on: “The people who served me used to love decorating my tail. But I didn’t like them.”
“‘Used to’? How old are you, anyway?” Chi Qian asked curiously.
“I’m seven! I just slept for a really long time. When I woke up—ta-da, there you all were.”
“Wow. How’d you manage to sleep that long without eating or drinking?” Chi Qian thought enviously. I need to copy that trick for my homework.
“No idea,” the noodle said, wagging its tail. “I just closed my eyes, and when I opened them, time had passed.”
“Then do you know where this place is?”
“Nope. My job every day was just to eat, drink, and play while others decorated me.” Its baby voice piped on, “Do you want to play with me? We can be friends.”
Turns out, it was a silly, sweet golden noodle.
Chi Qian shoved her hands in her pockets. “Can’t. I’ve got things to do.”
“Will you come play after you’re done?”
“Maybe.”
“Then hurry up. I’ll wait for you here.”
The baby voice even sounded a little sad. Chi Qian couldn’t resist raising a hand.
The python instantly understood, lowering its huge round head to let her pet it.
The few terrorists still conscious: “……”
Mom, I must be hallucinating. No way am I actually seeing this terrifying monster acting cute.
The golden noodle flicked its tail, bell jingling, and slithered back up to coil on the beam.
The terrorists quickly fled the room with Chi Qian in tow.
Once outside, they all looked at her with a mix of fear and admiration.
Damn. They thought she was just some useless little lackey.
Turns out, she was a badass.
The leader clapped her shoulder. “Good brother, without you we’d be done for.”
“You’re amazing—got that big guy to listen to you.”
“You raised one of those before?”
Chi Qian modestly replied, “Not exactly. But cats, fish, birds… those I’ve raised me plenty of times.”
The men: “???”
You said that backwards, didn’t you?
[As expected, no animal can escape Chi Qian’s palm]
[Scary snake? No. Cuddly jingling worm, yes]
[Perfect, Baby Qian’s now fully trusted by the enemy—next step, time to slaughter them!]
Thanks to this encounter, they were extra cautious in exploring the rest of the castle.
Luckily, no other monstrous surprises appeared.
In the last chamber, they finally found what they were after.
At the very center stood a massive statue of a giant eagle, perched majestically, eyes closed, lifelike in every detail.
In front of the eagle statue stood a glass case. Inside was only a small box.
Chi Qian tucked her hands in her sleeves, curious, “Big bro, this is the treasure we’ve been looking for?”
“Of course, good brother.” The boss explained, “Now that things have come this far, I won’t hide it from you anymore. This golden castle is said to hold the elixir of immortality. That’s our true goal.”
Immortality?
Chi Qian’s eyes lit up like lanterns. “There’s really something like that?”
Even the cultivation world didn’t have such a thing.
“Why would I lie? Long ago there were rumors that if you found the golden castle in the desert, you’d find eternal life. That means there must be an elixir of immortality here.”
“Big bro, you’re right! I’ll go grab the medicine for you!”
“No way. This place is filled with traps. How could I let you take that risk?”
Chi Qian thought, But I want to take the risk!
If that really was the elixir, she could eat it and instantly break free of the “must-die” plotline.
Then she’d never have to fear being killed off by the heroine or hero again!
But the boss still sent one of the underlings to fetch the box from the glass case.
The moment the man took a first step forward—dozens of arrows shot from the walls.
The second step—spiked maces came crashing down from the ceiling.
The third step—the floor contracted, leaving a gaping pit.
The fourth step…
Every step, a death trap.
The boss cursed. “Useless trash! Just get it already!”
The underlings looked resentful. Easy for him to say—why didn’t he go?
At last they managed to bring back the box. Inside were five pills. The boss’s eyes burned with greed.
He tossed one to the researcher girl, ordering her to test it for poison.
Chi Qian glanced at it and smacked her lips.
Fake. Just a messy concoction pill that would give you diarrhea so bad you’d collapse.
Gold was still more reliable than this.
But after testing with her tools, the girl shook her head at the boss.
Meaning: no problem.
When the boss looked like he was about to keep them all for himself, the underlings grew angry, “Boss, we followed you here. Even if we didn’t do much, we worked hard. Shouldn’t we at least get one pill each?”
The boss sneered. “Only four left. Is that enough to split? Better if they all go to me.”
Then he tried to rope Chi Qian to his side. “Good brother, I’ll give you one. How about that?”
Chi Qian answered honestly, “Big bro, I haven’t been of much help on this trip. How could I accept something so precious? You should give them to the others. They worked harder than me.”
Listen to that—such noble, selfless spirit!
The other underlings were moved to tears.
This was the leader they wanted!
Someone pointed at Chi Qian. “This brother understands traps, shows loyalty, and even saved us from the snake’s jaws. I say he’s more suited to be our leader!”
Others echoed: “We want a new boss! New boss!”
