Chapter 100: Drink Birds, Not Wine
After yesterday’s experience of eating sand, Chi Qian didn’t let the ostriches sprint wildly this time. She kept them at a steady pace.
Ling Qian and Gu Hua still looked down on her, but after being chased by wolves yesterday, they knew who to follow.
So they trailed along the ostrich footprints.
Xia Xinyue had to slow down for Xia Zhenzhen, and the sisters quickly fell far behind.
As the sun rose higher, the desert heat became unbearable.
The ostriches knew where to find shade, but it was still some distance away.
Two Booted Eagles followed them overhead, circling without landing.
Then Chi Qian heard the sound of rotor blades again. She glanced up at another helicopter, then lost interest.
She didn’t know that inside the helicopter, someone was staring down at her.
“Boss, am I seeing things? There are people riding ostriches down there, running through the desert.”
“Oh.”
“One, two, three, four, five… wow, those birds that can kick jackals into the sky are actually letting people ride them. What the hell.”
“…”
“And there’s even a drone filming. Is this some kind of show?”
“…”
“Boss, why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Shut up. Just fly the damn chopper.”
“Relax, boss. I’m an ace pilot. Even if I danced while flying, nothing would happen.”
…One hour later, the helicopter broke down and was forced to land in a corner of the desert.
They had no choice but to wait for rescue.
At the same time, Chi Qian’s group finally reached shade and stopped to rest.
The fruits from the morning were already gone, and they didn’t have much food left. They’d have to look for something nearby.
But resources in the desert were scarce. In this patch, there were only trees and grass.
They couldn’t very well turn into cows or horses and chew their way through.
“Qian Qian, why don’t we just eat some compressed biscuits to fill up? There’s nothing here to find.” Chi Fengxiao tossed the dry twigs to the ground and dusted his hands.
Shen Jing said, “And our water isn’t much left either. At most it’ll last half a day.”
Chi Qian thought for a moment. “Then let’s have a buffet lunch.”
As soon as she said that, she blew two sharp whistles.
The Booted Eagles circling above flew off, only to return shortly after.
They dove straight down and released several wild rabbits and sand grouse, then shot back up without a pause.
The eagles were tough, few words, cool as hell.
Chi Qian happily grabbed a rabbit by its tail. “Uncle, the buffet’s here!”
Chi Fengxiao: “……” Ridiculous.
[Look, this woman is called Little Qian, and she’s started ruling the desert.]
[These eagles are the only creatures not clinging to Little Qian. Respect. Now look at the ostriches beside her, cheap and clingy.]
[Buffet? More like the princess’s private dining hall!]
[How can they eat bunnies?! Cruel! And without cumin or chili flakes, rabbit doesn’t even taste good. Give it to me, I’ll cook it right!]
The production team watching the live stream were fuming.
Eat! Go ahead and eat!
They wanted to see how much the desert could actually provide them!
But water—that was the real problem.
Food they could scrape together, but without water, they wouldn’t last a single day under the desert sun.
The chief director was just gloating, when suddenly on-screen, the Booted Eagle swooped back again.
This time, its talons gripped a porcelain flask, which it dropped neatly in front of Chi Qian.
Chi Qian caught it, reached up and stroked its head. “Thank you.”
The eagle’s feathers puffed up instantly, its once sharp and keen eyes suddenly drifting, and it leaned dazedly against Chi Qian’s hand.
Utterly useless now.
Chi Qian: “?”
[Wait… did the eagle just get drunk?!]
[Drink birds, don’t drink wine! Wine’s for people, not birds!]
[I just said they were classier than ostriches. Slap me now.]
[Eagles don’t have facial expressions, but I swear this one looks bashful, thrilled, and intoxicated all at once.]
The other eagle lost it, marched forward, shoved its dazed companion aside, and collapsed into Chi Qian’s arms.
With a wingspan of 1.5 meters, it was taller than her—she couldn’t even move.
They crowded against her like over-enthusiastic dogs, all that aloof dignity gone.
Shy Booted Eagle: I-I’m just introverted, that’s all.
“Qian Qian, there’s a lot of water inside this flask.” Chi Fengxiao poured it out to boil, astonished. “This porcelain looks ancient. Where’d they get it?”
Chi Qian: “They said from a big house.”
“Isn’t that stealing?”
“They said no one’s lived there in a long time.”
Chi Fengxiao frowned deeper. “But it’s spotless, no sand at all. Like it was just taken from a cupboard.”
Little Eagle puffed out its chest: Of course I wouldn’t bring my woman something dirty!
Big Eagle chirped angrily: Oh, look at you, all high and mighty, strutting around. Still wet behind the ears and already trying to show off.
Fight: imminent.
The two eagles launched into the air, immediately scrapping with each other.
Shen Jiashu blinked in confusion. “Sis Qian, why are they fighting?”
Chi Qian: “Maybe they like each other.”
After drinking water, everyone rested in place.
Chi Qian told Chi Fengxiao to bury his calves in the sand for a sand bath.
“What for? It’s hot and stuffy.” He frowned.
“I heard it’s a folk remedy for rheumatism,” Chi Qian yawned, lying back. “We’re here already, may as well try.”
Chi Fengxiao froze, then his expression softened instantly.
Such a good treasure… he would never—
“Uncle, pay attention to the heat, don’t fall asleep. I don’t want the eggs I buried in the sand to spoil.”
Chi Fengxiao’s tender feelings evaporated. He grabbed her head and rubbed it furiously.
“Chi Little Baby, you think your uncle’s a damn egg timer?!”
“Ahhh, ouch, ouch!”
[Who remembers the first episode when Little Qian said Brother Chi’s nickname was “Chi Third Baby”?]
[Hahaha, whose idea was that? So silly-cute.]
[“Little baby” isn’t bad. Better than being called “Dog Egg” or “Wangcai.” Every time my parents shout my nickname, even the family dog looks up—so embarrassing.]
[Don’t be sad, upstairs. Honestly, your parents probably picked up the wrong kid.]
By the time Gu Hua and Xia Xinyue’s groups followed the ostrich tracks to them, Chi Qian’s team had already rested and was preparing to leave.
Xia Zhenzhen was exhausted, and when she saw Chi Qian lounging comfortably on the ostrich’s back, her teeth nearly cracked with jealousy.
On impulse, she rushed over to shove Chi Qian.
But before she could touch her, the ostrich shot upright and slammed Zhenzhen away.
“Ahh!” Xia Zhenzhen hit the ground, tears springing out. “Are you crazy?! You told it to attack me!”
Chi Qian sat calmly on the ostrich, hands tucked in her sleeves. “I looked at you up and down, left and right, thought about it all night, and finally your grand, glorious face revealed three characters to me.”
“Fang Cao Tian.”
“—Meaning: Shameless.”
