Chapter 121
Xie Mi’s roar—comparable to the bellow of a lion from the River East—hit like a soundwave attack, bursting the eardrums of Xiao Jingxi, Qiu Chengye, and Yu Jinzhe on the spot.
While they clutched their ears in agony, she suddenly shot forward with green light in her eyes, moving as fast as lightning.
Like a raging boar breaking out of its pen—utterly unstoppable.
The three of them recoiled in terror, but no matter how they staggered back, they couldn’t escape Xie Mi’s tornado-like assault.
“Xie Mi, wait—calm down!!”
“Why are you grabbing the back of my neck?! Let go! LET GO—”
“Ahhhhhh!!”
Charging straight in, Xie Mi grabbed Xiao Jingxi’s hair with one hand and Qiu Chengye’s neck with the other, then started shrieking “waa waa waa waa” while spinning at high speed.
“ALL—OF—YOU—DIE—FOR—GRANDPA—!!”
Her rotation sped up faster and faster, until she became a high-speed spinning top. The two men in her grip were reduced to afterimages, stars exploding in their eyes as they foamed at the mouth.
Yu Jinzhe, lucky to escape at first, immediately turned to skate away—but Xie Mi spotted him instantly.
She let go of Xiao Jingxi, who was flung like a projectile straight into Yu Jinzhe, sending both crashing out of bounds.
The entire arena was stunned.
This was the King of Hell in the flesh!!
[HOLY SH*T!!!!!]
[I was so scared I dropped my phone—Old Xie, next time give us a warning before transforming!]
[Sister Xie only has two modes: dead silent, or making sure nobody lives.]
[Damn, since when did spinning tops grow consciousness?!]
[Why did you even provoke her in the first place?!]
[LMAO! Messing with Sister Xie means you’ve provoked a lunatic!]
After a whole minute of shocked silence, Director Niu finally came back to his senses. Pointing at the frozen staff nearby, he shouted:
“What are you standing there for?! Go save them!!”
Xiao Jingxi and Yu Jinzhe were already foaming at the mouth!
The staff rushed in, hurriedly lifting the unconscious two. Once they confirmed both were still breathing, they sighed in relief.
But the real horror remained—Xie Mi was still spinning. And clutched firmly in her hand was… Qiu Chengye, fate sealed by her grip on the back of his neck.
His eyes had completely rolled back, foam spilling from his mouth, his brain scrambled by the endless shaking.
Even his voice trembled.
“M-m-m-my…”
“F*CK YOUR GRANDPA!!!”
With that final desperate howl, Xie Mi finally tired out. She let go, and both she and Qiu Chengye went flying.
The staff, ready to catch them, completely miscalculated.
Qiu Chengye zoomed right past their outstretched arms, nearly crashing to his doom.
Xie Mi, on the other hand, flew straight into a speeding embrace.
“Hiss—”
The impact slammed Shen Yanqing’s back against the wall as he caught her, pain furrowing his brows, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he immediately lowered his gaze to the person in his arms.
“E-everyone…”
Dazed, eyes spinning, foaming at the mouth, Xie Mi trembled as she raised her hand.
“No one… survives…”
A perfect suicide attack.
[This is the exact kind of crazy I signed up for!]
[She hurt a thousand enemies but lost only eight hundred herself—still profiting two hundred. A guaranteed win!]
[If China ever builds a high-speed turbine, remember it was me who provided the theory after watching Xie Mi.]
And she wasn’t finished yet.
Even half-dead, Xie Mi remembered her mission. Trembling, she pressed a hand on Shen Yanqing’s shoulder.
“Re… remember…”
“Remember to tear off their nametags. I… must win.”
[Sister Xie: dying is fine. Losing is not.]
[Quick question: if you lose this game, do you get sentenced or something?]
[In Old Xie’s dictionary, the word lose doesn’t exist—even if it’s just a game.]
Living up to expectations, Shen Yanqing tore off everyone’s nametags.
Qiu Chengye, Xiao Jingxi, and Yu Jinzhe were incapacitated; Liu Woxing surrendered voluntarily; and Lai Bingxuan, after being utterly traumatized by Xie Mi’s stunt, admitted defeat.
Thus, “Xie & Kill-the-Donkey” won the final victory.
Flat on a stretcher with an IV drip, stars still circling in her eyes, Xie Mi finally smiled in contentment.
“Happiness… is just this simple.”
The three other people on stretchers: “……?”
Is living… really this hard?
The main injuries of the guests came from lack of oxygen due to over-spinning. After a night of IV fluids and rest, they were fine.
The pitiful one, however, was Xie Mi.
As the mastermind of the suicide spin, she’d furiously kicked her feet to gain speed and accidentally injured her ankle.
At night it seemed minor, but by morning her ankle was swollen like a balloon.
Now, with her foot in a thick plaster cast, she sat deep in thought.
“You’re saying… I can’t walk for three days.”
“Yes.”
Xie Mi sank into deeper thought, regret slowly filling her expression.
Director Niu felt a spark of hope.
If this made her reflect, mend her ways, and stop acting insane, maybe the show could finally shed its “crazy variety” label…
“If I’d known, I would’ve ordered fried noodles for supper last night.”
Xie Mi spoke with genuine regret.
Director Niu: “?”
“My foot’s busted now—I’ll never be able to chase down that fried noodle stall that gets chased three streets by the city inspectors.”
Director Niu: “??”
So this was what she regretted?!
[Which fried noodle stall? Secretary, go investigate.]
[So that’s Old Xie’s secret to eating without gaining weight—she runs a marathon every night.]
[Wait… don’t tell me that was the stall under my building?! I was wondering why I kept hearing someone shrieking like a monkey while running past at night!]
[You fake fans! None of you care about her injured leg—you’re all stuck on fried noodles. Not me, though. I prefer fried rice noodles.]
[You’re no better.]
Yesterday’s City Bingo Fun Game results were:
- 1st place: Xie & Kill-the-Donkey
- 2nd place: Xiao–Liu team
- 3rd place: Rong–Yu team
- 4th place: Royal team
“Today is rest day. The production has booked a hot spring resort for the eight guests to enjoy three days and two nights of vacation.”
“But the vacation perks will depend entirely on your ranking yesterday.”
Early morning, in the hotel rooms, the four groups listened to the new rules.
“First is transportation to the resort.
- First place: luxury extended limousine.
- Second place: the program covers your taxi fare.
- Third place: only public transport allowance—bus or subway.
- Fourth place: nothing. Figure it out yourselves.”
Qiu Chengye & Lai Bingxuan: “??”
As the show’s resident troublemakers, there was no way they’d take this lying down.
“What do you mean figure it out? Figure out what exactly?!” Lai Bingxuan demanded.
Qiu Chengye slammed the table. “Which psycho came up with this crap rule?! WHO?!”
Director Niu, unfazed, had long grown used to this.
As manager of a “crazy-variety” show, he was already a veteran at handling lunatics (except for Xie Mi—her level was too high for detection).
“If you really can’t accept it, I can arrange for the program van to send you.
Of course, the entire nation will see it as you being unable to handle losing. But that’s fine—we’re a merciful program.”
