Chapter 106
But the real madness of the play was only just beginning.
Just when the Crown Prince and the heroine swordswoman were caught up in their entangled love–hate misunderstandings again, drawing the audience once more deeply into their emotions—
The Emperor and the Empress appeared.
They were the biggest obstacles preventing the leads from being together, the ultimate villains of the whole play.
The Emperor and Empress sat at the top of the palace. With the aid of background and music, the oppressive aura was so strong that even the audience couldn’t help but break into a sweat for the Crown Prince.
Yet the Crown Prince stood firm, neither humble nor arrogant, gripping the swordswoman’s hand tightly.
“So what if she is illegitimate? I’ve chosen her for this life. I will marry her as my wife—for life and for eternity, the two of us together!”
The swordswoman faced the Emperor and Empress with the same resolve.
“Please grant us your blessing!”
The Emperor looked at them expressionlessly, then slowly rose and descended.
The audience instinctively tensed.
And then—
Click—
The Empress pulled a pistol out of her sleeve and aimed it at the back of the Emperor’s head.
Audience: “???”
“Yes, I am the spy sent from the enemy nation. So what if you’ve figured it out? Today you’ll die at my hands.”
The Emperor turned around in disbelief, his facial features practically flying apart, eyebrows dancing, lips trembling wildly.
[If I’m not mistaken, Brother Kitty here is trying to express a sense of betrayal and heartbreak.]
[Good! Excellent! So detailed he’s acting out every word in the script!]
But the very next moment, the Emperor suddenly threw back his head and burst into wild laughter.
“Hahahahahaha! Not only did I know you were a spy from the enemy, I also know you’re not from this era. A pistol? Do you think such a thing could harm me?”
As the audience sat there questioning their life choices and wondering if they’d stumbled into the wrong theater, the plot on stage was already spinning off in an unforeseeable direction.
The Emperor flipped his robe and whipped out—a Gatling gun, opening fire at the Empress.
“It’s useless!”
The Empress suddenly erupted with radiant light, blasting the Emperor across the stage.
And then, from above—
A giant UFO slowly descended.
Audience: “…………?”
Bathed in the UFO’s spotlight, the Empress ripped off her luxurious gown to reveal a gleaming silver bodysuit.
“In truth, I am an alien! I came here to conquer Earth, starting with you—the ruler of this kingdom!”
The Emperor watched calmly, then suddenly smirked.
“I already suspected as much.”
He clapped his hands. A massive interstellar warship descended from the stage ceiling, a troop of armored space soldiers standing proudly behind him.
“I am a time–space administrator from the Interstellar Bureau. I detected an unknown species had infiltrated this timeline. I came here to bring you to justice!”
“What?!” The Empress’s gaze sharpened, and she suddenly struck an Ultraman pose. “Then you’ll have to see whether my Dynamic Laser agrees!”
And thus began the battle of the century between Emperor and Empress.
Lasers, cannons, space weapons…
All kinds of ludicrously expensive special effects were piled on stage as if money meant nothing. The lights and explosions left the audience utterly stunned.
And still, it wasn’t over.
The legitimate young lady in green galloped on horseback.
She began lashing her whip indiscriminately at everyone present—even the Crown Prince and the swordswoman accidentally caught a few strikes.
At last, the page boy remembered that he was the Crown Prince’s page. He rode out on his donkey cart to shield his master.
The maid hurried on stage, panicked, signing frantically with her hands:
[Stop fighting! Please stop fighting!]
But her voice was too small to matter. No one noticed her.
Seeing the chaos grow, she turned gravely to the vampire merchant at her side.
The vampire understood. He brought out a giant speaker.
“Music knows no borders. Let’s save them with music.”
The maid nodded passionately!
The vampire pressed play. Catchy music blasted out.
The audience fell into silent contemplation—
And then saw the maid and the vampire break into dance.
Perhaps moved by their rhythm, the others began to stop fighting, and one by one, joined in.
And so—
The eight actors on stage began dancing the crazy milkshake dance.
Amidst this graceful choreography and pulsing beat, the curtains slowly fell.
“The End.”
[Holy shit hahahahahaha]
[I knew it would be crazy, but not THIS crazy. Who the hell invented the milkshake dance, I’m dying]
[Alright, fine, you held me hostage for half an hour]
[Honestly, the audience reactions are funnier than what’s happening on stage]
[Help, I’m home alone laughing like a dog]
In just half an hour, the audience had gone through a lifetime of emotional ups and downs.
After a moment of collective silence, someone finally shouted hoarsely:
“Damn!!! So it really was a madhouse play!!!”
As if awakening everyone at once, the crowd burst into roaring laughter.
“Hahahahahaha save me!”
“This really opened my eyes, again and again!”
“No wonder tickets were impossible to get this year—now I see why. Totally worth it!”
“Not kidding, I’ve never in my life seen a play this deranged.”
“A blockbuster—ninjas, vampires, aliens, space marines, hell, they even threw in a UFO!”
“Who gets it? I lost it when the maid started doing ninja hand signs.”
“The funniest bit was when the Empress pulled a gun—I was completely dumbfounded.”
“Wasn’t the vampire the craziest? I was stunned the moment that coffin dropped.”
“So the Prince and swordswoman were just one part of your big roleplay, huh?”
Unsurprisingly, this absurdly insane stage play shot straight onto the hot search, causing an uproar online.
As the views and shares skyrocketed, “Purehearted Crown Prince Scorching Hot” finally broke out of the circle.
#XieMiturnedintoaninjamaid# #ShenYanqingvampirelookisridiculouslyhot#
#QiuChengyetime-spacetraveler# #LaiBingxuanalienlook#
#LiuWoxingwhippingeveryoneonhorseback#
#YuJinzheridingdonkeycartgetsblasted#
Each new trending tag exploded. Weird screenshots circulated wildly on Weibo. Netizens had a field day laughing, and only afterward did they realize—
[Huh? Who was the lead of this play again?]
[Leads? This play had leads? Wasn’t everyone the lead? Hahahahaha]
Because every side character shone so brightly, netizens dubbed it: “In this play, everyone is the protagonist.”
As for the actual two leads—they looked out of place precisely because they were too normal.
