Chapter 105
When the host announced the title, the entire venue went silent for two seconds.
Then, an explosion of laughter shook the hall.
“Hahahahahahahaha—”
“‘Pure-Hearted’ what? Say it again, ‘Pure-Hearted’ what??”
“I swear I read online they were performing a tragic romance play… Did I misunderstand what ‘tragic romance’ means?”
“Fine, fine, fine. If you’re going to be this crazy, I have to see what the hell is going on.”
With everyone’s anticipation, the curtain on stage slowly rose.
What came into view was a bamboo forest set.
Amidst tense background music, the Crown Prince, dressed in splendid robes, was surrounded by assassins in black.
The assassins closed in, drawing their blades to strike him down.
At the critical moment, a heroine in red descended from the sky.
She wielded her long sword with bold grace, the sword wind sweeping up layers of bamboo leaves. In the flashes of blades and shadows, the assassins fell one after another.
Applause erupted throughout the venue.
“Ahhhh, big sis is so cool!”
“Wait, why does this look so… normal? Daring not to troll me—that in itself is trolling me!”
“Shuang Shuang, so gorgeous!!”
Hearing the audience’s praises, Xu Shuangrong curled her lips into a faint smile. After dispatching the assassins, she turned with flair and walked off.
The Crown Prince, who had been dumbstruck, finally snapped back and hurriedly reached out his hand, “May I know the heroine’s name?!”
But all that remained for him was the sight of a red-clad back.
The Crown Prince stood there, reluctant to part, his eyes brimming with longing.
The audience burst into playful shouts.
“Oooohhh—Pure-Hearted Crown Prince!”
“The dead Xiao-Rong CP has risen again! Ahhh I’m crying!”
“If you guys keep acting like this, I’m seriously gonna start shipping it!”
The scene shifted, this time to the General’s Manor.
From that day on, the Crown Prince searched the city for the red-clad heroine. Finally, he received a clue: the heroine was connected to the General’s household.
When he stated his intentions, a lady in a green dress emerged.
“Your Highness, I am the one you seek.”
The legitimate daughter curtseyed lightly, smiling gently.
The Crown Prince felt doubt.
Though the red-clad woman that day had worn a veil, he still remembered those sharp eyes—so unlike the gaze of the woman before him.
Seeing his suspicion, the young lady calmly raised her sleeve, revealing a scar on her arm.
“That day, when I rescued you in the bamboo forest, I was cut by an assassin’s blade. Does Your Highness recall?”
The Crown Prince’s eyes flickered. “It was truly you?”
She smiled serenely. “It was me.”
They stood beneath a crabapple tree as petals drifted like snow. The scene was dazzlingly beautiful.
From afar, the concubine’s daughter—no longer dressed as the heroine—watched quietly, then turned away in loneliness.
“So it really is a tragic romance, complete with the stand-in trope. Wuwuwu, they’re acting so well, my heart aches for the heroine!”
“Prince, open your damn eyes! That’s not the one who saved you!”
“Ahhhh heroine, why aren’t you speaking up?! Hurry and explain, you’re killing me!”
As the story progressed, the audience became immersed, forgetting the ridiculous title and instead feeling genuine emotion.
Then the plot reached its climax.
During another assassination attempt, the heroine came to the rescue again—but this time her true identity was revealed. The Crown Prince finally realized he had been wrong all along.
“So it was you that I’ve been searching for!”
He gazed at her with excitement.
But the heroine suddenly widened her eyes, rushing forward to push him aside, “Your Highness, watch out!”
A blade came stabbing straight at her.
Rumble—
With the flash of lightning and the crash of thunder in the sound effects—
From above, the handmaiden descended in a blaze of glory!
Dressed in pink servant’s garb, she flew down from the sky, her hands forming seals so fast they blurred. After a flurry of signs, a dazzling firelight burst forth!
On the giant screen behind the stage, huge glowing words appeared:
[Ninjutsu — Fireball Technique!]
Boom!
The assassins were blasted ten meters away, flying right off the stage.
Audience: “?”
“???????”
“Wait… what the—huh??”
“Who the hell changed the channel with the remote?!”
“I know this might sound rude, but—aren’t we supposed to be watching a historical tragic romance?!”
“Ah?????”
[To summarize, the audience’s favorite word right now: Ah?]
[Hahahahaha finally! Who understands how much I was holding back earlier!]
[I was watching pretty seriously at first, but the moment I remembered which lunatics are still waiting to appear, I couldn’t stop laughing.]
[The real show only just started, folks.]
After the maid annihilated the assassins with ninjutsu, she gestured a few times at the concubine’s daughter, then prepared to leave.
At that moment, a young page slowly rolled onto stage in a donkey cart.
“Searching for my childhood sweetheart, searching for my childhood sweetheart.
“Braided pigtails, willow-leaf brows, high nose bridge, double eyelids. Ran away from home wearing a floral homespun blouse and black trousers.
“If sighted, please report immediately, please report immediately—”
As the donkey cart brushed past the maid, the page suddenly turned his head.
“Xiao Cui! Xiao Cui, is that you?!”
The maid stopped, turning suspiciously toward him.
The page rushed forward and grabbed her hand in excitement, “It’s me! Your childhood betrothed, your—”
Boom!
Another deafening crash shook the stage. A massive black coffin plummeted from above, landing right in front of the maid.
The lights dimmed sharply, and on the screen behind them appeared a massive full moon.
The coffin door creaked open. Inside stood a man dressed in black, arms folded across his chest, silently poised.
His skin was pale as death, but his bearing radiated elegance and pride, utterly unlike anyone else.
As his sinister eyes opened, his pupils glowed blood-red.
“You’re mistaken. She is not your childhood sweetheart.”
“She is my master.”
The man stepped out of the coffin, his lips curling into a wicked grin, revealing two sharp fangs.
“The fuck—he’s a damn vampire?!”
“Ah? Ah?? Ah???”
“Wait, hold up—what the… Ah???”
[Hahahahahaha Old Shen looks so handsome!!]
[Why is this so insane hahahahaha, I thought I was mentally prepared after watching the rehearsal, but clearly not enough.]
[The maid turned ninja, the merchant turned vampire.]
Under the stunned gazes of the audience, the vampire fought the page for hundreds of rounds.
In the end, the page and his donkey cart were knocked flying off the stage. The vampire then stood respectfully beside the mute maid, and the two exited together.
The play returned to the tragic romance between the Crown Prince and the heroine.
That bizarre fantasy sequence passed like a strange interlude, and the story went back to normal as if nothing had happened.
But the audience was no longer in their right minds.
“Excuse me… did I just dream all that?”
“Why do I faintly remember seeing a ninja, a donkey cart, and a vampire just now…”
“Wait—you guys inserted ads in the middle of the play?”
