Chapter 101
With Xie Mi’s uprising, Director Xiao Jingxi the tyrant was officially stripped of power.
He lost the right to arbitrarily change the script, and couldn’t refuse when others wanted to modify it either.
And so—
The most deranged stage play in history began to take shape.
First, Lai Bingxuan stated that her role as Empress only knew how to obey the Emperor blindly—far too brainless.
She proposed adding a traitor background for the Empress.
“The Empress has been secretly poisoning the Emperor with a slow-acting toxin. By the time the Emperor realizes, it’s already in his bones. He kneels and begs for the antidote, but the Empress is heartless and slits his throat with one stroke.”
Qiu Chengye: “?”
“Are you underestimating the intelligence of a sovereign? As Emperor, he would have long since seen through the Empress’s tricks. He never drank the poisoned wine at all, but pretended to go along with it. On the day the Empress thinks her plan succeeded, he has her torn apart by five horses, dying with no peace.”
Lai Bingxuan smiled.
“Okay, the Emperor has brains. But only one layer. The Empress is on the second. She knew all along the Emperor saw through her, but feigned ignorance. On the day the Emperor thinks his plan succeeded, the Empress’s reinforcements have already surrounded the palace. The Emperor is drowned in a pig cage, castrated, dismembered, and finally cut in half.”
Qiu Chengye fumed.
“Fine, the Empress is on the second layer. But the Emperor is on the third. He knew the Empress knew he knew she was a traitor but pretended not to. On the day she thinks her plan succeeded, all her reinforcements are ambushed and wiped out. The Empress is flogged 100 times, subjected to the Five Punishments, torn apart by chariots, and boiled alive…”
[From tragic romance drama to political intrigue drama]
[How about compromise—Emperor torn apart, Empress drowned in a pig cage. The theme: nobody lives]
[Not gonna lie, if they really perform it like this, I’d watch]
And it wasn’t over.
Yu Jinzhe also tried to alter his role.
“The pageboy’s role is too thin. I think we can give him a romance subplot. Like he had a close childhood sweetheart, but they were separated by disaster. He came to the capital searching for her, only to discover that the general’s maid was that very sweetheart…”
[This is so contrived it slapped me in the face]
[But does the pageboy know his childhood sweetheart is now a professional ninja?]
Next was Liu Woxing.
“The legitimate daughter is set up as a white-lotus-turned-villainess. Maybe she could also have mischievous behaviors? Like pretending to be a noble lady in public, but secretly sneaking out to taverns, horse-riding, and beating up street punks…”
[Sneaking into taverns, okay. But beating up punks??]
[From evil supporting actress to street thug boss!]
[Ha! I knew Sister Liu would go off the rails too]
Xie Mi then chimed in.
“To increase suspense, I propose the opening should start with a fight scene. The heroine is ambushed, the maid rushes in to protect her, takes an arrow, and dies instantly. Roll credits.”
[? I get you want to slack off, but not like this]
[Skipping your scenes again, huh?]
[Fine then—when the maid takes the arrow, add a line: ‘A rotten life still fights!’]
[The maid’s mute though—she should form hand seals and fire a Rasengan to insta-kill the assassin]
[Then use Edo Tensei to resurrect herself]
[So in the end the maid becomes Hokage??]
[Forget Hokage, she’s off to sea to become a pirate]
The plot was spiraling into madness.
Shen Yanqing was laughing so hard he couldn’t stop, his ink-dark eyes glittering like autumn waters.
“Why not add a star-chasing subplot? The wealthy merchant is actually the maid’s fan. He approaches the heroine just to learn ninjutsu from the maid. After he learns, he takes out that shady pageboy first.”
Pageboy Yu Jinzhe: “??”
[Is that really about ninjutsu? I don’t want to expose you]
[Drunkard’s heart not in the wine… Mr. Shen is after the maid all along]
[Let’s be honest, killing off the pageboy was your true goal HAHAHA]
“Enough! ENOUGH!”
The puppet director Xiao Jingxi was on the brink of collapse.
He thought this play rehearsal would be his shining moment, but instead he was saddled with this uncontrollable bunch!
Fortunately, Xu Shuangrong was still on his side.
“Jingxi, don’t worry, you still have me.”
Xiao Jingxi felt some relief, even touched.
Then Xu Shuangrong said, “I want to change my role too.”
Xiao Jingxi: “??”
Rage rushed to his head—he blacked out on the spot.
“Emperor Xiao fainted from anger!!!”
“…………”
Trending Hashtags: #XiaoJingxiFaintsOnDatingShow #HeartGoesOutToDirectorNiu
@MugglePrincess: Huh?? Why are people sympathizing with Director Niu when Xiao Jingxi fainted LOL
@AllSushiPls: Goes to show—ordinary folks don’t have Director Niu’s endurance.
@FreshlyKilledMe: Xiao only managed these lunatics for one day and had to get IV drips at the hospital. Director Niu’s been stuck with them for over half a month!
@SadPuppy: My poor brother… he has such an aggressive-looking face but gets bullied daily. Too kind for this world T_T
@XieMi: Xiao Jingxi does look aggressive. Probably the kind people want to attack.
@160cmRage: HOLY—Sister Xie??!!
@FragileGirl99: AHHH it’s really her, Old Xie you’re gossiping with your main account??!!
@VeggieDogWrap: Sister Xie I love you!! I’m your daddy fan!!
And so, another trending tag: #XieMiGossipsWithMainAccount #XieMiPersonallyFlamesXiaoJingxi
Netizens were amazed—Xie Mi using her main account to eat melon gossip was like a breath of fresh air in the entertainment circle.
At the same time, they analyzed her love-hate dynamic with Xiao Jingxi—the “Kitty CP.”
@LyingFlatAgent: Xie Mi never hides her disgust for Xiao Jingxi, but he keeps showing fondness for her on the show. Isn’t that its own form of twisted romance?
@BigBrainKid: In my experience, the more impossible a pairing seems, the more likely they end up together. These two might take an unexpected path. I think there’s potential.
@PotatoBits: And where does that leave Mr. Shen?
@WhatIsNiuNose: Mr. Shen is great, but Xie Mi’s dense as a brick. I’m really worried Xiao will overtake him on the inside lane.
@BurrowPig: If you ask me, Old Shen should be more straightforward.
@BurrowPig: I mean… seduction.
Of course, Xie Mi herself had no idea about these discussions.
As usual, she showered, climbed into bed, and played games—until she suddenly heard a thump from next door.
Before she could think what happened, a WeChat popped up:
[185 Purehearted College Guy]: Teacher Xie, hel—
The message cut off mid-word. Clearly, it was urgent.
Righteous Xie Mi grabbed a stool and dashed next door. After knocking with no reply, she leapt across from her own balcony into the next one.
“Old Shen! I’m here to save—oh my god WHAT THE HELL?!”
