Chapter 24: Don’t Worry, I’m Good at Pretending
Song Yuqing turned on her heel and retreated back into the cool interior of the shop, leaving Little Meat Bun on guard duty.
Seeing her leave, Xie Hao mustered his courage and stepped out of God’s Supermarket, bracing himself against the scorching furnace of the alleyway. Once I get back to the base, I’m demanding an underground villa from Xie Zetian to live in!
Little Meat Bun flopped back down into the bamboo grove, watching with bored eyes as Xie Hao grunted and strained under the weight of the zombie corpses.
Inside the shop, Gaha poked her head out from behind a shelving rack to scan the area. Seeing that the stranger was preoccupied outside, she felt a wave of relief and returned to wiping down the displays with her rag. In the fragmented remains of her human memory, she recalled that all humans treated zombies with pure hatred—either fleeing in terror or attacking on sight. She couldn’t help but wonder: Why can’t we all just be friendly?
Xie Hao spent the next hour hauling bodies from the alley to the storefront entrance. It took him over thirty grueling trips, and he even had to fend off a few stray walkers that wandered too close. By the end, he felt his physical stamina had hit a breaking point. Throughout the ordeal, Little Meat Bun kept a watchful eye on him, occasionally offering “assistance” by letting out a sharp, rumbling growl that sent any encroaching zombies scrambling for cover.
That’s decent of Boss Song, Xie Hao thought, a rare warmth spreading through his chest. She must have taken pity on me, leaving the panda here to act as my bodyguard.
Once the last corpse was moved, Xie Hao collapsed into the bamboo grove to catch his breath. The moment he slumped down, Little Meat Bun stood up, tilted his head, and stared at the man with palpable dissatisfaction.
“Hey, Panda,” Xie Hao wheezed, reaching out to pat the bear’s fur, completely oblivious to the creature’s rising irritation. “Where did Boss Song find you? I want a mutant pet, too.”
Little Meat Bun is officially offended.
You are the pet, Xie Hao!
With a huff, the panda stomped down hard on Xie Hao’s hand, then smartly trotted back into the supermarket. He had zero interest in fraternizing with that stinking human.
Xie Hao yelped as his single hand throbbed with pain. He scrambled to his feet, cradling his hand against his stomach, and marched toward the store with a grimace, intent on settling the score with the bear.
But the moment he stepped inside, he stopped dead in his tracks.
A girl with long, flowing hair stood in the aisle, her back to him as she meticulously wiped the shelves. Xie Hao felt the world tilt. He stood paralyzed, staring at her back in a daze. She stood on her tiptoes, trying to reach the top shelf, but failing, she gave a little hop—her long hair swaying elegantly as she landed.
His heart began to hammer against his ribs like a drum. He felt as though the youth he had lost years ago had suddenly returned. Even in the middle of an apocalypse, the primal desire for love could cut through the bleakest reality.
“Miss?” Xie Hao called out, his voice suddenly becoming gentle and slow. “Are you also a clerk here at God’s Supermarket?” He didn’t dare get too close, terrified of appearing abrupt.
Gaha, who had been wiping the shelves with infectious enthusiasm, froze instantly. She stood with her arms raised, too terrified to move a muscle.
“My name is Xie Hao. I’m here to trade for supplies. Could you please tell Boss Song that I’ve finished moving all the bodies to the door?”
Gaha slowly turned around, pulled the towel up to cover the lower half of her face, nodded vigorously, and hurried toward the back. Xie Hao followed her with his eyes, a dreamy, lovesick smile plastered on his face.
Gaha retreated to the back room and pointed toward the cashier counter, signaling for him to wait there.
“Huh?” It took Xie Hao three full seconds to process the gesture, after which he stood obediently by the register, waiting like a loyal soldier.
He didn’t take his eyes off the hallway until Gaha vanished from sight. Xie Hao considered himself a rugged man, a low-profile hero who generally ignored women—but he was a true believer in love at first sight.
“Back already? I thought you’d be hauling those until nightfall!” Song Yuqing walked out from behind the light green door, eyeing Xie Hao with suspicion. Just moments ago, Gaha had sprinted into her room in a blind panic, rambling in incomprehensible sounds. It had taken Song Yuqing a while to calm the girl down. I wonder if this guy was the cause of that?
Song Yuqing put on her plastic gloves and began tossing the zombies through the security gate one by one.
Ding, intermediate zombie~
Ding, intermediate zombie~
She glanced up at Xie Hao. This guy was actually quite capable—he’d managed to hunt down a significant number of mid-level walkers. She wondered just how high his power level really was.
While Xie Hao was distracted, curiously watching the gate vaporize the bodies, Song Yuqing suddenly grabbed his hand and shoved it through the scanner.
Ding, high-level psychic~
Xie Hao pointed at himself in shock. “Me?”
“Yes. No wonder you haven’t been dried into a piece of beef jerky out there.”
Xie Hao grinned, his eyes darting back toward the interior of the store, searching for Gaha. “Hey, isn’t there another girl working here?”
“Yes, her name is Gaha. You haven’t met her properly yet.”
“Oh, I have.”
When Song Yuqing looked up and saw the infatuated, lovesick daze on Xie Hao’s face, she immediately guessed what had happened.
Song Yuqing: …Well, your taste in romance certainly transcends species.
“There are eighty-three zombies in total,” Song Yuqing said, tossing the final body into the gate and clapping the dust off her gloves. “Since you’re a regular, I’ll give you a discount: sixty bottles of water and thirty food rations.”
“Deal!” That was more than enough to help Xie Zetian’s faction hold out for a while.
“Little Meat Bun! Gaha! Come out and help with the loading!” Song Yuqing shouted. The panda bolted out of the store, while Gaha—still keeping her face carefully wrapped in a cloth—walked out slowly.
“Why is she keeping her face covered?” Xie Hao asked, inching closer to Gaha.
Gaha didn’t respond. Following Song Yuqing’s orders, she grabbed a crate of water and headed toward the alley. Xie Hao picked up a crate of his own, trying to shadow her, but Gaha moved with unnatural speed, ghosting through the debris like she had no weight at all. No matter how hard Xie Hao tried to keep pace, he was left trailing in the dust, watching only her retreating back.
Exhausted, Xie Hao gave up and slumped into the driver’s seat of his modified truck.
“Are you interested in Gaha?” Song Yuqing asked as she carried a carton of food toward the vehicle.
Xie Hao made a frustrated “tsk” sound, clearly annoyed that she had been so blunt.
“Forget it,” she said.
“Why?”
“Trust me, Gaha is way out of your league.”
Xie Hao felt a sharp sting of bitterness.
Once the supplies were loaded, Gaha returned to God’s Supermarket without sparing Xie Hao a single glance. He could only comfort himself with the thought that he had simply failed to make a lasting impression.
He looked toward Little Meat Bun, who had been sitting in the bamboo forest since he finished working, seemingly waiting to say goodbye. Xie Hao waved at the panda; at least the bear was friendly!
Little Meat Bun: Is he shooing away mosquitoes?
Just as Xie Hao started the engine to head back to the base, Song Yuqing flagged him down. “Wait two minutes!”
She ran into the bamboo grove with a small shovel and unearthed two thick, healthy stalks. She ordered the giant panda to carry them to the truck, then moved an extra box of food and water from the shop floor into the cab.
“What’s this? A gift for me?” Xie Hao poked his head out the window, genuinely surprised.
“Don’t flatter yourself. This is for Liu Xiaona. Tell him to plant this bamboo,” Song Yuqing said, patting the side of the truck. “If you don’t hand it over to him, don’t even think about coming back for that prosthetic arm.”
“Got it!” Xie Hao promised, slamming the truck into gear. The heavily modified vehicle groaned as it began to crawl slowly away through the intense heat.
That weird man is finally gone! Gaha, who had been hovering behind the shop door, breathed a massive sigh of relief.
As soon as Song Yuqing stepped back inside, Gaha pulled her aside, gesticulating wildly to vent her anxiety.
“Gaha, gaha, gaha gaha gaha…”
—Oh my god, I almost got exposed as a zombie! But don’t worry, I didn’t break character! I’m really good at pretending to be human, aren’t I? So, what do you think? I look pretty convincing as a girl, right?
Song Yuqing: (●”●)
Night fell over Base No. 27.
Scattered across the dirt, a few dying refugees lay shivering in the dark. In a nearby insulated tent, a psychic who had successfully adapted to the extreme heat sat on guard. He had been placed there under Lin Han’s direct orders to defend the sector and, more importantly, to keep a close watch on anyone who had offended the boss.
In a secluded, shadowed corner, Liu Xiaona crawled out and pulled a glowing crystal core from his pocket. He placed it in his palm, preparing to absorb the energy to sustain himself.
“Where is Liu Xiaona?!”
The voice boomed like a tolling bell.
Startled, Liu Xiaona jerked in surprise. His hand slipped, and the crystal core clattered to the ground, rolling away into the dark.
